


Treble-ing Times *ON HIATUS*

by SilverSerpent66



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Closeted Reader, England - Freeform, F/M, Finals, GCSE's, Grief, Highschool AU, M/M, Mourning, Orphaned Reader, Reader's Friend - Freeform, School Pressures, school au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 16:37:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20429081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSerpent66/pseuds/SilverSerpent66
Summary: You're just an ordinary English schoolkid. Actually, no. No way. You are so far back in the closet you might as well live in Narnia. Being gay in a private school in England is a no go zone, but boundaries aren't your thing. You grew up in the American suburbs before moving due to political upheaval and economy crisis. Your early childhood is a distant memory, and the happy-go-lucky, eccentric, and creative personality you used to have has been shoved aside for what keeps you safe, to what makes you look normal to the undiscerning eye. Despite your many friends and allies, you don't trust many people as rural Southern England is more elitist and ramrod-straight than your northern roots. One day, however, an American exchange student by the name of Tyler Joseph and his BFF, Josh Dun, start to crack away at the shell around your hardened heart with the aid of your right hand man, Kat. You've been fake dating her to keep your gay-ness in the closet, but she wants to see your real self- the one she met when she earned your trust.Any Twenty One Pilots songs referenced in this work are not mine and belong to their rightful owners. Any claim that they belong to a character other than Tyler Joseph are purely artistic liberty.





	1. Friend Or Foe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willbyersbowlcut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willbyersbowlcut/gifts).

> well i stayed up till four in the morning writing these so enjoy the f l u f f and a n g s t

It was a grey, rainy day. Dingy, soupy light filtered through dust-colored clouds, and small raindrops pelted the windows as the wind whipped them around. It was early, and you'd never been one to sleep easily. A dream had woken you up an hour or so previously, and you found yourself sitting on the sill of your dorm. Your parents were away (on business, as per usual) and you had been left to stay in the school's supposedly "excellent" boarding. It wasn't too bad, you mused. You were alone most of the time, and your neighbors were fairly pleasant- two Chinese exchange students who boarded full time, and didn't mind when you played the guitar at ungodly hours. Perhaps the walls were thicker than you thought. Oh well.

Realizing that sleep would not revisit you any time, you slipped on your drab school uniform, packed your bag for the day, and quietly pushed open the door. Before you opened the door leading to the common room, you noticed a pink notice stuck on the wall. It read:

ADAMS COUNTY HIGH COMES TO LITTLETON SCHOOL!

Any pupils interested in becoming a buddy must enter their name, year, form tutor, and one/two key interests so that we may find a buddy for you!

*Note: Pupils in boarding will have to share a dorm if the space is available.

Adams?! Damn. That was close to where you'd grown up- not too far, about one county over. Your dorm was quiet, and lonely, you realized. Having someone in your room might be nice. You missed Kat being in the girls' dorms- at least you could meet in the common rooms for a chat or to copy each other's homework. But since her parents had finally decided to move closer by, she'd stopped boarding and only did day school. What the hell. You filled in the required information and continued, searching for coffee. you stepped through, one earbud in, and realized the sink was overflowing with mugs, plates, and other assorted crockery and cutlery.

"You're up early!" a familiar voice said. You whipped around. Realizing who it was, you covered your thumping heart. "Miss Elaine! Oh my goodness, you gave me a heart attack!" The portly woman smiled, chuckling. "Oh, I'm sorry, love. Didn't mean to frighten you." You smiled. "It's all right." You turned to the dishes, hoping to finish early enough to get some coffee before everyone else piled into the common room. "Why are you doing that, lovely? The prefects are supposed to do that as part of their duties." You grinned, picking up a plate. "Oh, well it's Simon's turn today, according to the rota, and he already owes me a favor for stopping James Liu from destroying Lucas Mac in a fight. One more favor and I'll have the leverage to hopefully get out of the detention Mrs. Pilkins gave me for "causing a racket during an exam." I had a cold, for god's sake. I SNEEZED. She loves Simon, and she's busy in a meeting today, so Simon's taking over supervising the detention for her. I'll mention the two favors he now owes me, say I'll let one off if he lets me go, and everyone wins." You smiled triumphantly. "I listen to when she complains about meetings so that I can get these lil nuggets of info and voila, it paid off." Miss Elaine chuckled. "If you put this much work into your schoolwork, lovey, as you do this, you'd be in Oxford in no time!" I chuckled. "Bath Uni for me. I'd rather the arts than the smarts." You dried the last few mugs and placed them on their shelves. You started the coffee maker, sitting down on a chair. You pulled out your laptop, checking your email, and then slumped in your seat. "UGH. My dad has to attend this company summit thing and I'm stuck here for another extra few weeks. I just wanna go home for chrissakes." Just then, Simon busted in. "Language, Mr. L/N." You grinned. "Did your job again, Simon. Two favors now, that is." He groaned. "What do you want?" You laced your fingers together with the air of a businessman making a deal. "Look. You cut me some slack, let me off the detention that I got for sneezing my arse off in Pill's class, and I'll say we're even. Deal?" you said, extending a hand. He sighed. "Fine. Deal." He shook on it. "Perfect." You grabbed your coffee. "Miss Elaine, it's almost time for roll. Can I go early? I left my guitar somewhere and I'm not sure where. I'd like to find it before someone cuts the strings again, like last time." She smiled. "Of course, Y/n. I'll mark you in on the register." You smiled. "Thanks, Miss!" 

You dashed down the path to school, swiping your pass before opening the door. Of course, that was a flat out lie. You just wanted to get in early to practice. Unbeknownst to most people, you also harbored a passion for the ukulele as well as the guitar. You'd picked it up alongside guitar, and had been using every spare moment of peace to perfect it. You couldn't quite sing along with the chords you strummed so neatly without messing up, and you were hell-bent on learning. You'd mostly learned on guitar, but not so much on ukulele. The new chords threw you off. You groaned in frustration at the thought of every failed attempt. Today, you told yourself. Today, you'd get it. You'd stashed your uke in your locker. it was fairly safe there. You sighed, arriving at a practice room and sitting down to practice.


	2. Cover Me

Settling down to practice, you strummed your chords. A good start followed- you started on the right time, and kept it up for more than four bars. Then the chorus hit- a smooth transition. The words flowed from your throat like honey, and your fingers danced across the frets like ballerinas. You kept a steady beat until the words sped up- from song to rap. Each syllable slipped from your tongue smoother than polished stone. Each lyric came from your soul.

And you’d written it all yourself.

It was only lacking a bridge- but you didn’t think it needed one. It sounded good on its own. Probably. And suddenly, the last word fell from your lips, and it was all over.

An enthusiastic round of applause came from the doorway. You turned, startled. “That was wonderful!” It was your music teacher and tutor, Mr. Treeble. "Did you write it yourself?" You turned an interesting shade of red. "Yes, but it's not finished... I'd like to add a bridge or maybe an accompaniment or something." "Would you like to record some rough tracks in the studio on Logic?" "Yes, please! I've been meaning to but I never have the time... I've been busy settling into boarding, I guess." "I got an email today. You're taking part in the buddy program for the American students? I'm glad to see you engaging in the scholarly community. It's good to see you taking part in something for once!" He smiled. "Well, I'll mark you in. Have fun recording!" You smiled. "Thanks, sir!" You paused. "I think."

About forty-five minutes later, the bell rang for you to go to class. You could feel yourself shutting down as droves of people swarmed to their classes. Big crowds made you nervous. A familiar face caught your eye. "Kat!" She turned, waiting for you to catch up. "Hey, Y/N!" Kat was your best friend of a few years, having helped you adjust to rural England and helping to hide the fact that you were about as straight as a roundabout. "You okay, bud? I know the crowds get to you a lil bit." You nodded, staring blankly at the floor. "Let's-let's just head to English, okay?" She nodded. "By the way, the buddy list is up. They're coming here today, y'know. I'll let Mrs. Darnton know that you're gonna be late to pick up your buddy, 'kay? Just check the list to see who-" She stopped abruptly. "Oh wait, I've got a buddy too, apparently." she said studying a long, white piece of paper attached to the noticeboard. "Let's see... Okay, so mine is called Josh Dun. Sweet. Dun's a cool last name. You've got..." She scanned the list. "Oh, here, Tyler Joseph. He sounds cool, too." You thought for a moment. Tyler... The name sounded ordinary. To you, that was refreshing. Too many rich kids and snobs with III in their names. You were snapped out of your reverie by Katie as she stopped a moment, pulling a girl out of the hoards of people. "Hey, Lucy? Can you let Darnton know that Y/N and I have to pick up our buddies?" Lucy shrugged. "Sure. You owe me though- Darnton might take it out on me." Kat smiled. "That's sorted. We've got to hurry. Otherwise, we'll be late. You nodded. The two of you headed to the Dining Hall, where masses of people, English and American alike, crowded together. It was almost too much for you. You hugged the wall, Kat alongside you. "QUIET!" boomed the PE teacher, Mrs. Seymour. "Right, when I call your name, come up front and meet your buddy. Then, head back to class. If I hear any of you are bunking off lessons, that unfortunate person will receive detentions for the rest of term. Understood?''

A murmur of assent came from the mass of students. She then proceeded to list each person and their buddy, until... "Dun, Joshua." A tall boy with curly brown hair and a baseball cap made his way up to the front. "Simmons, Kat." "That's me!" she whispered. "I'll try to wait for you." "Tyler, Joseph." A small boy with dark brown hair dressed in all black came up front. He was shrugging into himself, searching nervously through the crowd. You felt as if you'd chugged hot sauce. Warm and tingly, with the feeling of something being stuck in your throat lingering. You quickly cleared it, wiping your now clammy hands on your school trousers. "L/N, Y/N." You turned to Kat, who was chatting animatedly to her buddy. "That's me!" Josh glanced up at the stage. "Oh, that's my buddy Ty. He's a little shy but get him talking about music or something along the lines of that and you'll get along just fine." "Thanks, Josh." You hurried upstage and smiled at Tyler. "Hey, man. My buddy Kat is coming with me to English and she's Josh's buddy." Tyler looked up in surprise. "You're American?" You nodded. "Yeah. Grew up in Highland. Not too far from Adams. I moved here about, hmm, I'd say two years and three quarters." Ty smiled. "That's oddly specific." "Like my music tastes. You like Alt-J?" He grinned. "Love 'em." You grinned. "Mention it to Mr. Woodrow, the science teacher, and I guarantee a five minute derail about it at least." Tyler laughed, and a warm feeling settled in your stomach. It made you very uneasy. You stuck out your hand abruptly, and he shook it. "Good to meet you, man." You said, as not-flustered at possible.

"Let's head to class, before we get yelled at. Our teacher may be a midget, but she can yell loud enough to shatter your ears and put Lee over there" you said, nodding your head at a tall, blonde boy receiving a telling-off, "into a sprint with his tail between his legs. Unfortunately, I'm decent at English, so she picks on me a lot. I have some high expectations. Also yay. Love a bit of the big anxious spicy whatever the fuck pressure to keep me going." "Hey, everyone else here sounds pretty stuck up, like, rich kid stuck up. But you seem really cool." Tyler said. "Hey, thanks, man. I'll introduce you to some other cool people too, if you want." He smiled. "Sounds good." You joined Kat and Josh as you trekked up the stairs to the English department. Tyler turned to you. "So, do you play any instruments?" "Yeah, actually!" you responded. "Guitar and uke and bass on the side, for fun." Tyler grinned. "Same here, but the piano." You smiled. "Dude, that's awesome! I'm working on a song right now, actually. If I could get some extra input, that'd be great. I booked the recording studio for lunch. Wanna join me?"

You smiled. "Hey Josh, Kat, same goes for you guys." "Sure." Josh said, shrugging. "I love a jam sesh any day of the week." Ty grinned. "I'll be there." He turned to Josh. "Also, did you seriously just say JAM SESH?" Josh laughed. Tyler puffed up in mock anger. "NEVER EVER AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE, JOSH DUN." You chuckled. These two were accidentally the perfect comedic duo. Kat smiled ruefully. "Wish I could join. Unfortunately, Pill gave me another detention 'cause I forgot to raise my hand." "Big oof." The four of you walked into class. There was a table near the back that you and Kat sat near because of the window (and the heater, in winter, of course.) Tyler sat on one side, with Josh on his other side and Kat on your other side. The day flew by, until the bell rang for lunch.


	3. My Blood

You sat at the lunch table. Normally, it was crowded beyond belief, but you'd gotten in earlier than usual; which was, in anyone’s opinion, a near miracle. With nearly 25% more people in the building, it was even more so. Tyler, Kat, and Josh followed suit. The usual roar of the lunch hall was near twice as deafening, and your head throbbed ever so slightly. You weren't that hungry, despite how much later lunch was for you this year, as a more senior member of the school. The number of bodies filling the space made it similar to an oven. You felt faint. Cursing yourself for forgetting your earplugs, for stopping the sensory hell, you tucked in, hoping to finish as quickly as possible. You also regretted not having breakfast, but you were trying to lose weight, so you weren't extremely bothered by this notion. Your lunch was simple: carbs, for energy, protein, for muscle, and dairy: lasagne bolognese. You were trying to get bigger, being on the smaller side; rugby was hell enough without being smaller than the others. You felt warm all over, buzzy: slight tinges of black in your vision beginning to worry you. You sipped your water, trying to look like you were listening to the animated conversation the other three were having. The hot, airless room was making you sweat. You got up, despite every part of you screaming to stay put, lest you fall, the rational part of you told you that you needed out of the packed room. Your stomach twisted- you hadn't eaten enough, you were sure. You thought that you heard someone ask if you were okay, or wondering where you were going. You weren't sure. But, you did know that you needed out, as black slowly ate away at your vision. Your chest heaved, as you panicked; you weren't sure if you were going to make it, as your brain buzzed and static filled your ears. The stares of other children bore into your back as you stumble out, before...

You fell, the black fully eating away at your vision and all sound ceasing to be. "Shit." you thought before you could feel no more.

You stirred. Your mind woke; your body was unresponsive. _"What happened?" _you thought. You tried to move, only faintly feeling your arm twitch, trying to move your leadened limbs. "Help." you slurred. You felt your body being shaken, and you forced your eyes open.

You were in the school medbay, the white walls fuzzily familiar. You lifted your head as you looked around, your eyes focusing on three worried faces. "Heyyy." you tried to articulate. Your mouth, however, felt like cotton wool and sawdust, so it sounded more like "hehhy.". "What's up?" you tried with more success. "You tell us," Kat said, with furrowed brows as she handed you a glass of water. "You blacked out." You took a sip and thought back. "Well, there were so many people, and the room was so, so warm, and I couldn't breathe, and I forgot my stupid earplugs, and-" Your voice died. "Yeah," you mumbled as you head suddenly started to throb. "You gave us a scare, bud. We legit thought you were a goner for a hot minute." Your mind, however slow it felt, realized that Tyler's hand was resting on your arm. Your face burned. Of course, you knew that you weren't strictly speaking, the straightest person, this was ridiculous. You'd just met Tyler. _"I'm probably just a touch-starved gay."_ you thought to yourself. "I-I uh..." Your head throbbed. "I think I need a Tylerrrnol or something." Your tongue felt like a scrap of leather in your mouth. The nurse walked in. "You need more than a Tylenol, honey. You're showing typical signs of anxiety. From what I can tell, you haven't been eating properly, you haven't been sleeping, your heart rate and blood pressure are very high, and your body seems to be under extreme stress." She sighed. "They're being too harsh on you, these teachers." She paused. "These are typical anxiety symptoms." She said again, probably expecting more of a reaction. You snorted. "Tell me something I don't know." You sighed. "Damned if I didn't already know. I cope, but it's annoying as hell sometimes."

The nurse shook her head. "Have you ever had counseling?" You shook your head. "I tried to get help, but it was a pretty shit experience and it wasn't the kind I needed." You shook your head. "I'd prefer not to talk about it." You had a flashback of the carpeted room with the harsh tones of a skeletal woman and a bible being slammed on a desk. "No way in hell I'm going back. Ever. I'd rather die." You made to get up but stopped. "How much longer till the end of break?" "Well," Kat checked her watch, "About twenty minutes. Why?" "Because," you said, standing up with your teeth gritted, "We had plans and dammit we're gonna carry on as per normal." The others exchanged glances. "I'm fine! I swear!" Kat rolled her eyes but got up to follow you. "I guess I owe you one. The Pill couldn't be bothered to show up, so Simon showed up instead. He let me go 'cause he thought it was stupid, too." She grinned. "I was told not to tell you, but he totally freaked when he heard about you passing out. He said that you're kind of a bastard, but that you're a bastard worth keeping." You chuckled, thanking the nurse, Kat and the boys in tow. 

In the studio, you brought out your laptop, showing the rough files that you'd recorded earlier. "Here goes." You said, pressing play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry, I haven't posted much, I just started school this week. I'll try to post on the weekend. I do have commitments, though, so I will be putting those first. There isn't a SCHEDULE, per se. Just a rough feeling of future burnout and dom bc I signed up for a shit ton of stuff for the year.


	4. A Coalition of Talents

I do not know why I would go  
In front of you and hide my soul  
'Cause you're the only one who knows it,  
Yeah, you're the only one who knows it

And I will hide behind my pride  
Don't know why I think I could lie  
'Cause there's a screen on my chest  
Yeah, there's a screen on my chest

[2x]  
I'm standing in front of you  
I'm standing in front of you  
I'm trying to be so cool  
Everything together trying to be so cool

I can't see past my own nose, I'm seeing everything in slo-mo  
Look out below crashing down to the ground just like a vertical locomotive  
That's a train. Am I painting the picture that's in my brain?  
A train from the sky, locomotive, my motives are insane  
My flow's not great, OK, I conversate with people  
Who know if I flow on a song I'll get no radio play  
While you're doing fine, there's some people and I  
Who have a really tough time getting through this life  
So excuse us while we sing to the sky.

[2x]  
I'm standing in front of you  
I'm standing in front of you  
I'm trying to be so cool  
Everything together trying to be so cool

The song finished and you looked around nervously. "Thoughts?"

Tyler spoke up first. "It's beautiful..." He said, looking you in the eyes. You grinned, flushing a pale pink. "Thanks, Ty!" Katie smiled. "And this is the prototype? Can't wait to see the master file!" Josh nodded. "You said you needed drums?" You nodded. "I'd like a beat to it. Also, a bridge. Something like..." You paused. "I'm not sure. I'll know when I hear it." Ty nodded. "Makes sense." You turned to Josh. "Wanna record a track?" Josh grinned. "Thought you'd never ask."  
Ten minutes later, you studied the drum track, awestruck. "Oh my god! It's actually perfect!" You addressed Tyler. "Maybe... a piano track ...and some synth and we're good to go! Whaddaya think, Ty?" Tyler was looking at his watch.

"I think we're gonna be late to class. Lunch ends at 2:10, right?" You gasped. "Oh god!" You whipped out your timetable. "Oh, right! It's Enrichment." You grinned. "It's like extra time in a subject that you want to persue. Kat has art, but I have music! We're good, but Kat..." Kat was already ou the door, Josh in tow. "You can pick one on your own or stay with me. There's DT, Sports, Art, Science, etc..." Tyler grinned. "I'll stick with music." You headed into the next door classroom. Mr. Treeble greeted you enthusiastically. "Hello Y/N! I presume this is Tyler?" He extended a hand. "Mr. Treeble. Nice to meet you!" Tyler was looking at the floor, but shook his hand, suddenly shy. "Hi..." he mumbled. The sudden atmosphere change didn't phase Mr. Treeble.

"So, Tyler, do you play any instruments?" Once again, Tyler was emboldened by the mention of music. "Uhh, I play piano, ukulele, and bass. Also a little guitar." Just then, Josh walked in. "This is music, right? Kat told me we could choose, and since I suck at drawing, I decided to come here instead." Mr. Treble reintroduced himself, once again asking if he could play an instrument. "I play drums." Josh said casually. "And he kicks arse at it!" "Language, Y/N." Mr. Treeble scolded halfheartedly. "sIR come ON. Last week you told Les to bugger off." "Well, yes, but he called you a faggot. I personally take offense to that." he said.

"When I told my husband what word he was throwing around he went ballistic." "True." Tyler's head jerked up, and Josh looked at him in an odd way. Treeble paid no notice. He was probably used to it. I'd have to talk to Tyler about the acceptance policies here. He didn't need to react that badly. I changed the subject. "You probably heard Josh on the drums at lunch, sir. He and Tyler are helping me with my project. I mean, normally I'd work alone, and use a prerecorded drum track, but Josh came in at just the right time to help. It's much better than a drum track anyway."

Treeble looked at Josh with a newfound respect. "That was you? I was going to ask if you guys were going to take lessons here but it seems you don't need them!" He smiled. "Anyway, looks like everyone's here, so I should probably take attendance." You sat down next to Tyler. "Dude." you hissed. "What's your problem?" "I don't have one!" he hissed back, agitated. "Obviously you do! You freaked when Treeble said he was gay! Not cool, man." Tyler pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I'll talk to you later." He said choking on the last word. You looked at him confusedly. "_The fuck?"_


	5. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> be prepared. ANGSTY BOIS AHEAD. Have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the erratic posting schedule! I have so much going on at school and when I finally get to write I never end up finishing the story. Enjoy!

The rest of the day was filled with awkward stares and one-word answers. The only words exchanged were the occasional "Do you have a pencil?" and "What did she say again?" There was no indication of the earlier conversation or explanation for Ty's reaction. Though you had only known Tyler for such a short time, the distance felt... wrong. The day slowed down, and your favorite time of day felt like drudgery. You hated fighting with anyone, and it made you sad to blemish the face of any friendship. Tyler was a cool guy, but homophobia was inexcusable and you couldn't condone it. You tried talking to him during clubs and at dinner, but he barely spoke and you were at a loss as to what to do. Josh had simply told you to give him time. You supposed you could, but it would be painfully awkward. When you finally reached your room, you tried to make peace, helping him put his things in the closet, putting his sheets on, and letting him use the shower first. Even then, the conversation flowed like molasses. You felt anxious; arguments and falling outs put you on edge and seeing the happy boy from earlier reduced to pulling his head back in his shell made your heart ache.

You lay in bed, listening to the sound of rain falling outside. You just wanted to go home. You missed your parents like hell. It hurt that whilst other kids could ask for help for their homework, you couldn’t get more than five minutes with yours. Their parents would be there to help. You picked up your phone, tapping the FaceTime icon and dialing their number. It rang three times before your mom picked up. "Hi, Honey!" "Hi, Mom! How's the summit going?" She smiled. "Your father's loving it. It's boring for me, but at least the sun exists here. Let me guess, it's raining over there?" You laughed. "How'dja know?" "She cheated! She checked the weather forecast!" A familiar face popped into the frame. "Hi, Dad!" You grinned. "How's my son doing? Did you conquer Dontay yet?" You laughed. "No. He threw me off again last week and I hurt my shoulder again." He clicked his tongue. "C'mon, champ! He's a tough horse, but he'll be worth the loan and the sore butt once you conquer him and take him to Nationals! Show him who's boss!" "Oh, that reminds me. Did you win your Fencing tourney last week?" your mom asked. "Yeah! It was tough, and Nathan's still salty like I said he would be." "Well done!" "Look, if he gives you trouble, tell him he's digging his own grave." "I will, dad." "We have to go, your dad has a meeting in 30 minutes, and we're going for a quick bite beforehand. We love you!" "Bye Mom, Bye Dad! Love you too!" The screen went dark. You smiled sadly. You craved moments like this, but they were few and far between. Sighing, you ran a hand through your hair.

Tyler opened the door to the bathroom. "It's all yours," he said, slipping on a shirt with the Dear Evan Hansen logo on the front. "DEH, huh?" He nodded. "Look... are you okay? Did I say something wrong? Also, why did what Treeble said freak you out? You shouldn't have a problem with that- Suddenly, a thought struck you like lightning. "Oh." It hit you. "You're not-" you inhaled. Tyler was frozen, shrinking into himself and staring anywhere but your face. Hope blossomed in your chest, with anxiety for Tyler, relief that he wasn't homophobic, and joy that you might not be alone. "Ty..." He looked you in the eyes, fear blowing them wide. "Tyler, are you gay?" He nodded, his body shuddering and a sob wracking through his body. "P-please don't tell anyone- please, don't hurt me!" he begged, choking on his words. "Tyler, I would never, ever, do that to you. I promise.”

The tension dropped out of his body as he sank onto the floor, this time, sobs of relief wracking his body. You knelt, hugging him tightly, wishing that you had the right words to tell him that he wasn't alone. For now, you just held him tight and savored the moment. "Okay, bud. I gotta shower now. Are you okay now?" Ty leaned back. "Yeah. 'M sorry for- for this." he said, gesturing to himself. You remembered coming out to Kat when you'd realized that your endless staring at Zac Efron wasn't normal. You had cried buckets and had nearly put yourself on the verge of a panic attack. "No, Ty, don't apologize. This-this is only natural. PA isn't exactly progressive." You sighed. "I'm going to take a shower. Take a breather, okay? Drink some water."

You opened the door, turned the lock, stripped, and let the hot water numb your skin. A few minutes later, you toweled off and slipped on an exercise tank. It was soft and baggy, perfect for sleeping. You slipped on some comfy boxers and shorts and stepped out, a wave of cool air hitting your face. Ty peeped over the baseboard of his bed. "Hey." "Hey," you replied. "What happened to your arm?" Ty asked. Your heart sank. "Uh." You squinted. "Cat scratches?" Wordlessly, Tyler sat up, pushed his baggy hoodie sleeve up, and showed you thin, dark lines marring his skin- nearly identical to yours. "I've been there too." You nodded, crossing your arms.

"It's like a drug," you said. "You know it's bad for you, and your parents tell you never, ever to do it, but once you start, you can't ever stop, because, in a twisted way, it gives you a high you can't get anywhere else." Tyler nodded. A knock cut through the silence. "Boys! Lights out in 10 minutes!" "Okay, Miss Claire!" you called out. "She never checks, so we'll be okay if we wanna go 'till 11 or so." Ty nodded. "It's cold in here- is there a heater?" You chuckled. "Yeah, but it's about as reliable as a three-year-old receptionist. Usually, it doesn't work." He chuckled. "How will you survive in that tank top?" "My dad's from the North Sea. He's done the North Sea Charity Swim, which is when a buncha crazy people dress up and swim in the North Sea at Christmas. Naturally, it is absolutely, positively, freeze-your-balls-off cold." You shuddered. "Once, I saw two guys do it in _mankinis_. MANKINIS, Tyler. Sweet Jesus." He chuckled. "I'd like to see that." "You can come with me! Better yet, let's actually DO IT. What a madlad thing to do, huh?" He laughed. "Sure." He smiled. "Actually, I'm hella jetlagged. I think we should hit the hay." You yawned. "Dude. Sleep is for the weak." Ty rolled his eyes. "Sure. Go to sleep you lunatic. You won't regret it. Maybe." He crawled under his sheets. "Night, man." You followed suit. "Night, dude."


	6. Goner

You stretched. Dim light filtered in through the thin curtains, reducing the trees to gently swaying shadows. The world looked ethereal at this time of day, you thought. Not quite as vibrant, but misty and inviting. You quietly stepped outside, looking over at Tyler, who was sleeping peacefully in the single bed, a small smile on his face. You closed the door, heart rate slightly elevated. Tip-toeing down the corridor, you pulled the small blanket you’d wrapped hastily around your shoulders on the way out tighter. The window was inviting, its large, flat sill calling. You hopped up, as you’d done hundreds of times before to watch the sun kiss the clouds good morning and paint the world a rich gold.

The birds were gently chirping their chorus as you watched the sky turn to a paint-splattered skyscape. The gentle padding of feet made you prick your ears. Your head turned. “I wondered where you’d gone.” Tyler said. “I’m here every morning if you need me.” You sighed. “I always watch the sun rise. It’s just... always been a thing I do, I guess.” Tyler nodded. “I get that. I have things like that. Like how every Thursday I play ukulele. I used to have lessons on a Thursday, but I didn’t go anymore because I had... other things." He sighed. "So, I play the same time, same day, ever since I was ten.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Routines are pretty nice to have. If mine gets thrown off, it freaks me out a little.” You stretched, hopping off the windowsill. “It’s Saturday. There's a couple things you can do. You can go out to town, to... I think it's the Prophet shopping center, not Carnival Way. There's a nice movie theater there. Tickets are cheap on Saturdays too. Not only that, but there's so many food places dude... like 40. Don't go to any of the food carts. I got real bad food poisoning once. Apparently the dude didn't even have licence to sell food. Wack." Tyler shook his head. "I'm pretty jetlagged dude. I don't feel like going anywhere right now." You nodded. "Okay. So I guess that rules out going to the Sports Hall to work out." Ty laughed. "I'm in too much pain to get the gainz!" You snorted. "Put that in the list of things I never wanna hear come out of your mouth, like, ever again." Tyler laughed. "Why, 'cause i'm spitting out those bars?" You groaned. "No, because I think I cringed so hard my eyebrows went out through the back of my skull." You checked your watch. "Breakfast is in 20 minutes. We'd better get into some clothes, then talk over breakfast about what we wanna do. Sound good?" Ty nodded. "Okay. Cool."

Approximately half an hour later, the two of you sat down at an empty table in the corner, joined by Zada. Zada was a good friend of yours. She'd been boarding for two years, and came from the Maldives. Zada was quite small, but ferocious. The first lesson you'd learned from her was never to underestimate how much rage a small person can have. "Hey, Y/N. Hey..." She trailed off. "Sorry dude. Don't know your name." Tyler looked up from his eggs. "Tyler. You're Zada, right?" She nodded. "The one and only." "Pull up a chair, Za." You said, sliding over to make room. She grabbed a chair from another table. "What are you guys planning on doing today?" You shrugged. "I don't know. We were gonna figure that out now, actually." You turned to Tyler. "Ty, I was thinking we could hijack the upstairs common room, the one with all the beanbags, grab blankets, make some hot chocolate, binge some Netflix, etc." Tyler nodded. "Actually, sounds perfect. I heard about this great British show called Doctor Who." You chuckled. "I know the show. I've been binging it for at least two months. I'm almost on season 4." "I heard the show's pretty complex. We can watch something else, so you don't have to rewatch-" You cut him off. "Dude. Come on. I don't care! Let's do it!" Tyler smiled. "Cool." You sipped your coffee, looking out through the window out into the trees and grounds.

It was a calm day, with fluffy white clouds drifting across the sky, the sun peeking out cheekily from behind them from time to time. No matter where your house was, the only place that would ever be home was here. You'd been here for years, and knew every corner, nook, and cranny like the back of your hand. You sighed, taking another gulp of the bitter substance. Tyler cringed. "How do you drink that stuff? And black too? That's gross." Zada snorted. "Oh, man. You do not want to see him when he hasn't had his coffee. It gets pretty ugly." You shrugged. "I dunno. I just really like it." You chuckled. "It's dark and bitter, like my soul." You joked. Tyler snorted into his orange juice, coughing. Zada chuckled. “Oh, Tyler. He didn’t mention it, did he?” You looked at her warily. “He’s-“ You cut her off. “-Got the darkest humor of anyone in the whole school.” She looked at you oddly. "Sure." Tyler was too busy going to town on his breakfast to notice the terse exchange. "I get that." Tyler said, mouth half full. "Wow, this is good. Our school food in the states is terrible. That's probably what I'll miss the least." You put down your coffee. "What do you mean?" Tyler put down his fork, having finished his breakfast. "Oh, yeah. My parents said I can enroll here if I want. I'm taking the entry test Monday, but I won't officially be a student until after Christmas break." He sighed contentedly. "My school's leaving when you guys leave for Christmas." You grinned. "You didn't tell me that! Tyler, that's amazing!" You paused. "Wait, have you told Josh yet?" Tyler grinned. "It was his idea. Besides, he's got Brad, Brendon, and Mike. He should be okay." You grinned. "I'm so stoked, dude. We can still be roommates, too, if you want!" Tyler nodded. "Uh, duh." He stood, tray in hand. "I'll see you outside, dude." You watched him walk away, sipping your coffee to hide the dusting of pink on your cheeks. "You're fucked, Y/N. A goner. Head over heels." You sighed. "Yeah. You're spot on, I think."


	7. A Friendly Cult

The air was bitingly cold. Of course, as the morning fog lifted, and the sun rose higher, it would be more tolerable, but for now, it was uncomfortable as you made your way back to the boarding house. Tyler was shivering. He was only in a t-shirt and jeans. “Regretting your decision much?” you joked. Tyler nodded. You unzipped your coat. “Here. It’s freezing out, and you look like you’re gonna become a Ty-sicle in a second. Tyler went to object but you cut him off. “I have a hoodie. Plus, at this point, I’m pretty sure I’m used to it. It’s been, like, three years. I’ll be okay.” Ty nodded. “Thanks, man.” You smiled. ”No problem.” You slung your arm as casually as possible across his shoulders, heart thumping madly. A boy came and tapped you on the shoulder, and you slowly withdrew your arm. “Hey Lucas. What’s up?” He grinned. “It’s game time.” Tyler looked at you in confusion. “What?” Your jerked your head in Tyler’s direction. “Can he come?” Lucas looked at him for a moment before nodding. “If we get snitched on, though...” He mimed something very violent. “LUCAS HAYWARD!” He smiled grimly. “Just saying.” You sighed. “Go and play with Loony Liu over there.” He chuckled, trotting ahead. 

Tyler looked at you confusedly. “What the hell was that about?” You grinned excitedly. “You’re gonna love this.”   
Lucas turned back. “In 20. In 20.” You nodded. “Thanks for the 4-1-1.” Tyler was utterly bemused. “Seriously, Ty. This is gonna be your salvation when you start here.” Tyler gave you a long look. “When do I find out about this... thing?” You grinned. “Twenty minutes. Give or take.”

About twenty minutes later, after roll and daily briefing, you turned down your dorm corridor. You stopped in front of a door, holding it open. “This is our stop!” Tyler stepped through tentatively, with you following suit.   
  


The room wasn’t much. It was a sofa, a bathroom, and a TV with a Playstation. Various board games adorned the shelves, and colorful pillows were strewn about.  
“Welcome to the Games Room, Ty.” You said. “Home to the most secret cult of our school; The TALGBI+ Army. TALGBI+ is just LGBTA+ rearranged.” You smiled. “We’ve been operating about two and a half years. This is a safe haven for those in the LGBT community.” You sighed heavily. “This school is not very friendly towards those of other mindsets, Ty.” You turned to the people standing by. 

“I’ll introduce you, shall I?” You turned. “Guys, this is Tyler. If you haven’t heard him speak before, he’s one of the American students. Tyler is like me. He stepped outta his comfort zone, like we all did, for the first time.” A smattering of applause followed. “Good on you, Ty.” A ginger boy piped up. “Coming out is the best and hardest thing you can do.” You turned to Tyler. “Ty, this is James, and his girlfriend, Annie.” A Chinese girl nodded in acknowledgment. “Both of them are bisexual, trying to make it without appearing on people’s gaydar.” “Hey.” Tyler said. Lucas stepped forward with a boy who could only be James Liu. “This is James and, well, you’ve met this crackhead.” You noogied Lucas’ head and he squawked in protest. James slapped you teasingly. “Hands off my boyfriend.” A tall black boy raised his hand in a simple wave. “Hey, I’m Taj.” He paused. “Ace. Nice to meet you.” Tyler nodded. Zada piped up. “What about me, huh?” She shook Ty’s hand. “Welcome to what is essentially a GSA but without straight people. I’m a functional lesbian.” Tyler snorted. “We’ve met.” He turned to you. “What do you mean, ‘like me?’” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Ty. We’re in a secret gay cult and you’re gay. I compared you to me. Put two and two together, mate.” “YOU TOO?” He said delightedly. “Why didn’t you tell me!?” You smiled. “You’d have figured it out eventually. I’m the founder of this club. You’d have either followed me or found out about it at some point.” James pointed at you and Tyler. “So, are you two...” He trailed off. “No, no no no no.” Ty waved his hands frantically. “Nope. Just friends.”

Lucas shrugged. “Cool. Do we get started or...” “Yeah, yeah. Sit down, guys.” People grabbed pillows, fought for the sofa, and eventually settled down. “Right. So. First agenda. Since it’s a weekend meeting, our day school members are not with us. We need to discuss ways of subtly hinting to new members or potential members that we are a member of this group.” You searched the gaggle of people for hands raised. “Any ideas?” There was a silence before Zada raised her hand. “What about coloring the crest on our bags a certain color? Like, one people wouldn’t use normally. Like a brown block cross or something. “Hmm.” You mused. “Actually, that’s a really good idea, Za. We should also make a point of putting safety pins on our bags. They’re symbols of compassion amongst some organisations and I think we should adopt that as a roundabout way of saying that we’re in this club and have compassion for the LGBTQ+ community.” Nods and murmurs of assent fluctuated throughout the room. “Cool. All in favor of having safety pins and brown block crosses on our crests as symbols, raise their hand.”

All hands went up. “Alright! Landslide majority. If yours is colored in already, rubbing alcohol, bleach, or nail varnish remover can get rid of it really quickly. Zada has a nail kit if you haven’t got access to that stuff.” You clapped excitedly. “Right! As we have a new member, it’s time for our initiation traditions!” You patted the space beside you, motioning for Tyler to sit next to you. “Ty, if you don’t mind?” He shuffled forward. “Cool. We don’t do crazy shit like the other secret groups do, like climbing on the roof of the Sixth Form Center- LUCAS. I told you not to join the cryptid cult. They’re all stoners or drunk, I swear.” You rubbed your face tiredly. “Idiot went and sprained his wrist and ankle. Hell of a thing we had to explain to Big Mac.” Big Mac was the semi-affectionate name for the housemaster, Geoffrey Macintosh. He was a rather large, imposing Scotsman who was known for his ill temper. “Anyway, the craziest thing we’ve ever done is snuck into the common room whilst he was asleep and put laxatives in his special biscuit tin.” You snorted. “He outed someone to the whole boarding house by accident. Poor guy had to leave school because some dickwad was sending him death threats.” You inhaled sharply.

“So, initiation is simple. You play Truth Or Dare, Two Truths One Lie, and Never Have I Ever with this lot. You grinned. “Here’s the best bit though. The forfeit is drinking a glass of straight squash mixed with instant coffee and baked bean juice. Lucas?” The boy dragged his bag forward and patted it. “Here, mate.” You grinned. “You in?” Tyler shrugged. “Why the fuck not?” The room cheered. “Let’s get this started, people! Lucas, can you give me your water bottle for a spinner please?” The bottle was passed forwards. “Care to spin first, Tyler?” Tyler paused. “Yeah. Hold up. Does the person I land on let me dare them or do I get dared?” You grinned. “We usually have the person you land on daring you. It’s more fun that way.” He groaned. “Okay. Here goes!”

He spun, landing on Tad. “Truth or dare, noob?” Tyler thought. “Truth.” Tad paused. “Ever tongued a guy before?” Tyler went pink. “My friend Josh is bi- we were both curious, so...” He hid his face, now red. “We’re only friends. He’s mooning after your best friend, though.” He jabbed you in the ribs. You laughed. “You are a mankiller, you. I’ll spin next.” You spun and landed on Zada. You groaned. “Be nice, Zada. Please. I’ll go dare.” She grinned. “Play a round of spin the bottle. Tongue. Minimum thirty seconds. No exceptions.” “Damn, Za, I said be nice!” You turned to the two couples. “If I end up tonguing your SO, blame Zada not me.” You spun the bottle, watching as it went round and round and round until...

It landed on Tyler.   
It fucking landed on fucking Tyler.   
Tyler was the distinct color of a tomato, and you were faring no better. You eyed the juice. “Last time I drank that I puked.” You turned to Tyler, who shut his eyes. “Here goes...”

You leant forwards, looking at the boy’s face, before shutting your eyes and pressing your lips to his.   
It was like nothing else you’d ever felt. Your heart was fluttering, and you felt like you were flying. You captured his soft lips gently, nibbling on his bottom lip and slipping your tongue inside his mouth. A distinct “woo!” came from Tad, as you flipped him off and explored Tyler’s mouth. Tyler responded gently, letting you in before asking to explore yours. Your heart was thumping like a drum. Fireworks seemed to be going off in your head as you pressed your lips hungrily to Tyler’s. “Five, four, three, two, one. Time is up!” You withdrew reluctantly, as cheeky cheers went up. The both of you were panting. You smiled, recollecting yourself (even though you wanted nothing more than to continue kissing Tyler). “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you grab a dare by the balls.” Cheers went up as Annie spun and had to wear her underwear on the outside. You nudged Tyler. “Wasn’t half bad, my guy.” He nodded, a soft smile on his face as he looked around the room. “That was actually really nice. This whole thing is so nice. I haven’t felt this...” He paused, searching for the right word. “Safe. At ease, in God knows how long. This is just what I always wanted.” He looked at you, the most sincere and grateful smile on his face. “Thank you.” A warm feeling shot through your body like an arrow to the heart. That smile took your breath away. “You’re welcome, Ty.” This time, you didn’t bother hiding your arm around his shoulder, and Tyler leant in. You wondered if he knew how fast you heart was beating, and how difficult it was for you to restrain the goofiest grin you had ever wanted to grin.   
  


An hour later, you all went back to your rooms in dribs and drabs, so as not to attract attention. You went first, as your room was down the hall. You and Tyler walked side by side in contented silence, your arm still around his shoulders. You gently let it slide off as you held the door for Tyler. As soon as the door closed behind you, you were immediately pinned against the wall, Tyler’s lips crashing against yours. His tongue slipped between your lips and you kissed back, recovering quickly from the shock. He explored every area of your mouth, but less gentle. More like he was conquering territory. You pushed back, lips tugging on his, raking your hands through his soft hair, and tongue fighting for entrance. Your hips connected and Tyler let out a small moan. You broke the kiss, panting for the second time this evening. “Wow...” You said, head spinning. “That was...”

You looked at Tyler, hair ruffled, pupils blown wide, and lips pink and swollen. “Incredible.” Tyler smiled. “I didn’t know if you liked me, too.” He said, bashfully. “But after the kiss... oh my God. The amount of restraint it took for me to not kiss you again and again!” You laughed. “Me too.” He said. “Wow! I think I’m actually lightheaded! You really took my breath away.” Tyler smiled, pecking you on the lips. “I’m glad.” You grinned, cupping the side of his face gently with your palm. “I hope we can keep doing that. Just... forever.” You rested your head against his. Tyler smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing. “Y/N, I know this is cheesy as hell, but... will you be my boyfriend?” You grinned, nodding. “Absolutely. Yes. Hell yes.” You leaned in to kiss him gently, chastely. “Why don’t we curl up and watch Doctor Who together, like we said?” Tyler smiled. It was so, so beautiful and radiant. You wanted to see it every day, and make sure it stayed there no matter what. “Of course.” he said.   
So that was what you did. 


	8. Late at Night

It was quite late. Somewhere around 2:30. They had stopped watching TV somewhere around 1:30, and had not been able to sleep. So they talked.   
“Wanna hear something weird?” You said. Tyler nodded, yawning. “S-sure.” You yawned. “Mr. Treeble is my uncle.” Tyler turned his head. “No way, man. You guys can’t be related!” You nodded. “So my grandma remarried and had two kids with my... step-grandpa? I dunno! I see him more than my actual grandpa and obviously this was all before I was born so I just consider him to be my actual grandpa. I don’t see my actual grandpa that much! But anyway, he’s my dad’s step-brother. It’s kinda cool though! He’s the fun one at weddings and family reunions and stuff. His husband Kevin tells the dumbest jokes though. But I lo-ohhh”

You yawned again. “I love bad jokes. And I can be out to them. Hey, can I tell them about us?” Tyler paused. “I guess. I mean it will be weird because he’s our teacher and all but like?-“ “He seems really cool. Go ahead.” You grinned. “I can’t wait!” A knock sounded on the door. “Y/N? You scrambled to get out of the same bed as Tyler and stumbled to the door. “Oh, hi Miss Elaine.” You said, with your best I’ve-just-woken-up-I-swear voice. You yawned. “What’s up?” You noticed her solemn face. “What’s wrong?” Tyler came up from behind you. Miss Elaine sniffed. A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’ve never had to say this before.” You reached out and rested your hand on her shoulder. “What’s going on?” “Y/N...” she took a deep breath. “Sit down a sec.” You obeyed, turning on the light. “Y/N, you know that your parents were travelling back from their conference today, right? Taking a plane to Heathrow?”

“Yeeeeees...” you said, horrible thoughts filling your mind. “There was a really awful storm, a freak storm, and lightning hit their plane over the Atlantic. The plane got hit by really bad weather. There... there were no survivors.” You put a hand over your mouth in shock. “N-no… there’s no way. This is some kind of sick joke, right? This isn’t real- i refuse to even-“ Miss Elaine shook her head. “I’m so, so sorry, love.”   
That was it. You broke down. Tears streamed down your face and you sobbed. Tyler held you tight, and you buried your face into his shoulder, body convulsing with grief. Miss Elaine rubbed your back, trying to do her best. It felt like hours you screamed and cried, begging and praying and hoping it wasn’t true. But eventually your throat gave out, and you needed more air than you were getting. So you calmed, sadness plunging its jagged spear into your heart. Eventually Miss Elaine left, and it was just you and Tyler, who held onto you, who kissed your forehead and helped you into bed. “Do you want me to stay with you?” He asked, reaching for your hand. You nodded, unable to get the words out. “Why my parents, Ty? I was just about to get them back and now they’re gone for good.” Your voice was hoarse and choked. Tyler climbed into bed next to you. “I don’t know. They don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this.” He held you tight, and you buried your face into his neck, inhaling deeply. He smelt of clean clothes and tears and something sweet. You felt a little bit calmer. “Thanks, Ty.” He kissed your forehead. “Get some sleep, okay?” You nodded, snuggling up closer. “I’ll try.”   
  


Needless to say, you did not sleep. You lay there until the sun peeped over the horizon. You didn’t bother getting up. It was just another sunrise, except this one your parents would never see. You weren’t called to roll. Nobody bothered. And it was a good thing, too. You didn’t want to move, to speak, or even think. It all hurt. Tyler woke up at 11:37, according to the clock on the wall. He gave you a quick kiss before getting up and taking a shower. You just lay there. Tyler left at 12 for lunch, and brought you a coffee. You drank it, but didn’t feel much better. You and Tyler watched stupid cartoons until about 1:16, when a knock sounded at the door.   
You answered.   
A familiar face greeted you. “Uncle Darren?” He didn’t say anything, just gave you a long hug. “Hi, sir.” He waved at Tyler. “Are you okay, kiddo?” You shook your head. “I asked the headmaster. He says that if you want to, you can leave a week early.” You looked at him quizzically. “And go where?” He smiled sadly. “With me, Y/N. Your parents named me your guardian should something happen to them.” You shook your head. “I think I wanna stay. Just so I can carry on and just try and ignore it. We’re probably just gonna do fun things this week.” He nodded. “Alright.”

“Uncle Darren?” you said. “Yeah?” You grabbed Tyler’s hand. “T-Tyler’s my boyfriend now.” Darren looked at Tyler and smiled. “You’re a good kid. I’m glad he picked you.” Tyler smiled. “Thanks, sir.” Darren patted him on the back. “Well, I have a shit tonne of legal things to sort out, so I have to go. I just wanted to come and check on you.” You nodded. “Thanks, Uncle Darren.” He smiled. “No problem, kiddo. Get some sleep, eat something, drink some water.” He turned to Tyler. “Make him.” Tyler nodded. “Will do.” “And no shenanigans. I won’t tell Mac, and I don’t want to have to, ok?” Tyler’s face burned. “Yep!” he squeaked. “Uncle Darren!” you scolded. “I’m joking. See you later, guys.”   
  


“Well.” Tyler said. “That was a completely different side.” You nodded. “Oh yeah. Everyone is surprised. He’s super chill.” Tyler chuckled. “Also, I just heard my teacher cuss. Also he basically just gave us a condensed “talk” and I am cringing at that so, so much because THAT is my TEACHER. And YOUR UNCLE. Which is SO WEIRD BY THE WAY!” You smiled a bit at your boyfriend’s reaction. “I guess I should change. Maybe brush my hair. Get some food and water.” Tyler nodded. “Good idea.” 

Ten minutes later, you had put on a hoodie and jeans and tackled your hair. Tyler came with you to the common room and rummaged in the cupboards. “Chicken Pot Noodle sound okay?” You nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Ty.” You poured yourself some water. Zada walked in, saw you, and gave you a big hug. “I heard about what happened.” You sighed. “Yeah. Bet Big Mac told everyone to fuck off and stay away from me ‘cause I’m having a shit time of it or something.” She snorted. “Basically.” You shook your head. “I might go for a walk later. Clear my head.” Zada nodded. “Any news I should know about the Army?” You nodded. “Tyler and I are a code pink.” She smiled. “Oh my gosh, yay! You guys are so cute!” Tyler handed you a pot noodle. “Here you go.” You smiled a small smile. “Thanks, Ty.” He smiled back, kissing you on the forehead. Thank goodness the common room was empty apart from the three of you.

“You guys! I can’t even! When will I find a cute girl?” She pouted. “I’m a lil mad now.” You started wolfing down the pot noodle. “Damn, this is good.” You took a sip of water. “I didn’t realise how hungry I was. Kinda wrapped up in other stuff.” She nodded. “But that’s good that you’re eating.” You nodded. “I think I’m going to finish this and go for a walk.” “Okay! Seeya!” “Bye Za.” You said. You sat down at a table and wolfed down your food, Tyler sitting with you. When you finished, you addressed him. “I actually changed my mind. Can we go back to our room and make out or something?” Tyler went red. “U-uh yeah. Of course!”   
You got through the door and sat on the bed. Tyler sat next to you and kissed your cheek. “I really love it when you do that.” You said. “I love when you kiss me on the cheek or forehead. It’s the sweetest thing.” Tyler smiled tenderly. “Aww.” He gently kissed your lips, and you kissed back, enjoying his soft lips melting into yours. He broke the kiss and lay down. You lowered yourself over him and resumed the kiss, sighing happily as the warm feeling crept in, numbing some of the pain. You broke the kiss, and lay down with him, yawning. “I’m kinda tired.” Tyler yawned. “Yeah, me too.”   
  
You were both fast asleep in minutes. 


	9. Sweetest Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @willbyersbowlcut for betaing!

The week flew by. The school was bedecked in tinsel and miniature trees graced every teacher’s desk. Tutor parties were in full swing, and people exchanged gifts and cards. It seemed that the whole building was a ticking timer, as teachers and students alike waited for the last bell to ring. Tyler had already started packing; he had put most of his clothes away. You were never a massive fan of Christmas. You joked that it was about capitalism taking over a holiday exploiting a man who stalked children but it had always been a sad holiday for you. Five years ago, your grandfather had had a heart attack the night of Christmas, right in front of your eyes. Now, your parents were gone, and your boyfriend would be in another country. Fantastic. 

The last week had been full of tumultuous times. Tyler had been there for you every step of the way, from telling people the horrible events when you couldn’t bear it to late night cuddles and kisses. He was incredible. But you hated not being able to show any kind of love or affection in public, or even just talking about Tyler in the slightest. Kat had been ecstatic when you had told her about Tyler and yourself. She squealed so loud it nearly broke your ear drums. Josh had confessed to Kat that he liked her, and they’d exchanged phone numbers. 

Life would be good for you, you mused, if you didn’t have a dark cloud hanging over your head all of the time. Your parents’ deaths had affected you the whole week. It was in every aspect of Christmas spirit; from talking about Christmas cards to, well anything sentimental. You were tired of feeling so emotionally exhausted all of the time. People were generally kind to you, offering their condolences and giving you space. But it was eerie, in a way. When you entered the room, conversations stopped, and people looked sad or stricken before returning to their conversations. You just carried on, stumbling tiredly through the week, praying that you wouldn’t have a mental breakdown. Kat offered to ask if you could stay with her for Christmas, but you declined. You wanted to stay with what little family you had left.   
  


Most of your time was spent with Tyler. He was leaving after the Annual Carol Concert, taking the plane back to Philadelphia and then taking a bus to Adams. You knew you would miss him; but he promised to call you every day he possibly could. You wondered what Christmas would be like this year as the two of you walked side-by-side to the Dining Hall. “Oh, I almost forgot! It’s Christmas lunch today, Tyler!” You grinned like an overexcited five-year-old. “There’s turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and it’s like Thanksgiving, but on Christmas and you get Christmas crackers and wear stupid little paper hats. It’s great! Oh, and there’s a terrible joke in every one. My uncle Kevin loves that part. He always makes a huge deal out of it, it’s hilarious.” You grinned. “You’re gonna love it!” You pulled out your earplugs and popped them into each ear. “Best be careful, though. Better safe than sorry. Don’t want a repeat of last time.” Tyler nodded. “That would royally suck.” You chuckled, joining the queue.   
  
Ten minutes later, the two of you sat down at a table with Josh, Kat, Lucas, James, Annie, and Zada. “We gave Josh the down-low.” James said. “Also, congrats on the code pink. Totally saw it coming though.” You smiled bashfully. “I guess you’ve heard that Tyler’s joining next term?” Nods of assent went around the table. “Yeah.” said Lucas. “Welcome aboard, nooblet.” You jokingly covered Tyler’s ears. “Be nice to my boyfriend!” You shook your finger at him mockingly. “Remember who you’re talking to.” Lucas bowed, over exaggerating his movements. “His Majesty The Motherfucker.” Tyler giggled into his mashed potatoes, Zada did a spit-take, and James went “Oh, snap.”   
  


“Damn, I’m gonna miss you guys over the holidays.” Zada frowned. “Nooooo. Don’t remind me.” She sighed. “I’m gonna have to listen to my dad talk about how the gays are ruining the country.” You smiled sympathetically. “Been there. Think most of us have, really.” You sighed, shaking your head. “Like, all these damn boomers need to chill, yknow?” Laughter came from around the table. Tyler shook his head. “And you told ME off for being cringey! You filthy hypocrite!” You laughed. “I know, I know. It’s why I like you, though. It’s really funny how you don’t even give a fuck, my guy. You just waltz in like ‘sup, zoomers’ and nobody cares! It’s great!” Tyler squeezed your hand under the table. “Thanks, babe.” You smiled, turning to address the table. “Right! Everyone grab a cracker, quick! Hold an end in each hand and pull on ‘go’!” You grinned. “Okay! Three, two, one, go!”   
  


Multiple loud pops were heard as people tugged with all their might. You got both ends, taking one for yourself and taking out the paper hat. “Usual challenge rules, guys! The person with their hat on the longest wins biscuits for the week.” Everybody hurried and grabbed a hat. You slid one on Tyler’s head, and he laughed. This was the only part of Christmas you didn’t mind. You loved the feeling of community and the happiness radiating from each and every person. And this year, it was much better, because you had someone to love. Zada cackled at her small piece of paper. “Ok, guys, guys guys. What do you call a donkey missing a leg?” You shook your head. Oldest joke in history. She giggled. “A wonkey!” The table was filled with groans and snickering alike. As you sat at the table, Tyler’s hand in yours hidden safely under the table, you realized how lucky you were to be able to have these people on your side.   
  


You leaned over. “Meet me in the music rooms, Ty.” you whispered. He nodded, and you disposed of your tray, rushing to the music department. “Sir, is the Recording Studio booked?”   
  


Three minutes later, Tyler entered the room. You gave him a hug. “I won’t be able to do that for a while, so I’m gonna do that as many times as possible before you have to leave.” Tyler shook his head wistfully. “I wish I didn’t have to go. I know I'm coming back, but..." You nodded. "I know. I get it." you leaned into him, holding him tightly. "I have an idea, though." Tyler stepped back, holding your hands. "Yeah?" "I still have that project that I was working on, the song that I wrote." He nodded. "Yeah." "I think we should finish it. Add a bridge. Do some cool vocals. Make a master copy, and then, when you come back, maybe even do something as crazy as make a studio EP. But we should put ourselves out there! Do something crazy! We have a whole life ahead. Losing two of the most important people in my life made me realize that we need to take advantage of every day we're given. And honestly? I really wanna share this with you for as long as I can." Tyler smiled lovingly at you. "Yeah. Let's do it!" Treeble walked in at this point. "Need any help recording? " You nodded. "Sure. Thanks, sir." He ruffled your hair. "No problem." You ducked. "Ack, no. Stopppp!" he laughed. "What track are you recording first? You looked at Tyler. "Ukulele and bass sound okay?" He nodded. "Do you wanna just do a repeat of the chorus for the bridge? Like, four times?" You thought. "Yeah, sounds good. Let's do this."

By the end of the break, you had recorded your tracks and tweaked them slightly. "Can you help me burn it onto a CD?" you asked your uncle. He nodded. "Sure. Do you have a computer that can-?" You brought your computer forth, along with two CDs. You turned to Tyler. “One advantage of having an ancient computer is that you can burn discs super quick, without any extensions or anything.” You handed it to Mr. Treeble. “Thanks.” He nodded. “No problem. This looks like it could be really good. Planning on going anywhere with this?” You turned to Tyler. “We were thinking maybe an EP or something. Like you did!” Tyler did a double take. “Wait, wait, wait.” He looked at Mr. Treeble. “You have an EP?” He nodded. “Yeah, and a single. It’s on YouTube and Spotify.” Tyler looked positively gobsmacked. After several moments, he smiled. “Cool.” Treeble laughed. “Well, I’ve seen you two, so I know you’re here. You can join the tutor party or you can go somewhere else to say goodbye.” He sighed. “I get it. Kevin was an exchange student in college for a year and I hated every minute he was away.” He smiled. “I’ll cover for you. Shhh, though, yeah?” You grinned, giving him a hug. “Thanks, sir.” You jerked your head out the door. “Let’s just go down the hall, to the practice rooms.” He nodded. “Okay!” Treeble moved forward. “Actually, Y/N, can I talk to Tyler a second?” You smiled. “Alright. Be nice.” You walked down the hall. 

Treeble waited until you were gone. “Tyler.” He sighed. “Why my nephew?” Tyler paused, thinking carefully about what he was going to say next. “He’s so compassionate, and friendly, despite all he’s been through. He’s so strong, and funny...” He trailed off. Treeble motioned with his hand. Tyler flushed. “And really cute, too. I feel like he’s making me a better person, helping me be more compassionate, and I... I’ve never really gotten this far. I’ve never felt so lucky, either.” Tyler looked up. Mr. Treeble was grinning. “Well, I was going to tell you to not hurt my nephew ever or I’d make your life extremely difficult, but it looks like we don’t have to worry about that!” He patted Tyler on the back. “But seriously. He pretends to be strong, all the time, because he thinks he has to. But he’s a lot more vulnerable than he realises. He needs to find someone he can trust. He wants to treat someone as best he can, but he never thinks he’ll get it back. He just lets himself be walked on, and I just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t make that mistake again.” Tyler’s brows were furrowed. “Thanks. Gives me a lot to think about.” Treeble nodded, his serious look turning into a smile. “Just checking in. He used to be so shy, but you’ve really brought him out of his shell. He’s way happier, and given recent events, I want it to stay that way.” He patted him on the back. “But don’t tell him I said that, alright? He gets really defensive when I mention it.” Tyler nodded. “Don’t worry, sir, my lips are sealed.” Treeble nodded. “Good man. Now. I have a class to look after. Go spend some time with him.” Treeble left, entering the adjacent classroom.

You waited for Tyler patiently, strumming chords on your ukulele, whistling along. Tyler opened the door. “Hey, babe.” Your face turned a shade of pink. “H-hey.” You said, trying to act casual. You’d been nonchalant before, but him saying the simple term of affection had you blushing. Nobody had ever really called you anything affectionate before, but you loved it. “You okay?” You nodded, clearing your throat. “Yeah. Just... thinking.” You plucked some strings absentmindedly. “About... about you leaving.” He nodded. “Yeah.” You sighed. “It’s gonna really suck.” Tyler smiled sadly. “Yeah.” You looked him in the eyes. You leaned forwards, crushing your lips onto his desperately. Tyler leaned into the kiss, holding you tight. You broke off the kiss, burying your face into his shoulder, keeping him close for as long as possible. He rocked you gently, and you hugged him tighter. The two of you stayed like that for a small eternity; neither one of you wanted to let go. “I’m gonna miss you.” Tyler said, his voice breaking off slightly towards the end. “It’s gonna feel lonely, even with my whole family in at Christmas.” You nodded. “I get that.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “It’s only been a week, and half of it has sucked, but it sucks less with you around.” He squeezed your hand. “Yeah. I wish we could stay with each other, but my mom would probably die.” You laughed sadly. “My mom would’ve done the same.”   
  


A loud ringing disturbed your temporary peace. “That’s the bell.” You sighed. “Which means that we have to say goodbye properly now, because there will be too many people to do it then.” Tyler nodded. He cupped your cheek, arm resting on your hip, and kissed you deeply, sadly, lovingly. A knock rang out, and the two of you jumped apart. It was Mr. Treeble. “Sorry to... interrupt, but you’ll be late if you don’t hurry. I know it’s hard.” You sighed. “Do we have to?” He smiled sadly. “I’ll cover for you. You have 5 minutes max, otherwise it’s gonna look dodgy.” You nodded, and he left. You leaned into Tyler, resting your head on his shoulder and buried your face into the crook of his neck. He hummed, and you felt the vibrations in his neck and chest as he swayed slowly. You wrapped your arms around him, not wanting to let go. After a minute, you sighed. “We should get going.” He sighed. “One more?” You nodded, and Tyler captured your lips in a passionate kiss. You broke apart. “I’m gonna miss you.” He nodded, pressing his forehead to yours. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” You stepped back, and held the door for him. “After you.”

The carol service, as usual, was not very interesting. Everything passed as it should as you sat and stood and sang, Tyler next to you the whole time. Eventually, the last speech was spoken, and everyone went to leave. “Ty, you’ll call me?” He nodded. “Of course. I’ll send you memes too.” You grinned, holding back tears. You clapped him on the back. “See you in a few weeks, dude.” You said, as casually as possible. He grinned. “I’m counting on it.” 

You watched him leave, Josh catching up to him and walking beside him.

And that was all you could do.

Because you couldn’t do anything else.


	10. A Trapdoor Opens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lateness of the chapter. I meant to publish this ages ago but shit has hit the fan and I am knee deep in it so that didn't happen. enjoy

You sighed, watching the droves of people filter out through the various exits and trickle down the drive to the parking lot. People were laughing and smiling with their families, talking and chatting without the slightest care in the world. You swallowed, forcing back tears. You couldn't think, couldn't speak. It was all too much. A familiar voice resonated throughout the nearly empty hall. "You alright, Y/N?" You turned to face your drama teacher, Mr. Finn. Mr. Finn was a good friend of your uncle, having performed with him in several theater companies before. You took a deep breath. "Nah. If i was, I'd be lying, and I'm done with that." you said. "Your uncle's really worried. He acts casual, because he knows you don't want a fuss, but he's always talking about it in the staffroom." You grit your teeth, trying to fight the tears threatening to cascade from your eyes. You looked at the floor. "Mr. Finn, please tell my uncle that he has nothing to worry about. I'm coping just fine. It's gonna sting for a while, I know, but for now, I just need space. That's all." You looked up. "I appreciate the concern, though." You inhaled deeply. "Excuse me, sir." You left, a tear falling down your cheek as you jogged away, trying not to bolt as quickly as you so desperately wanted to. As soon as you were out of eyesight of anyone, you sprinted to the boarding house, scanning your ID before racing up to your room to hide. You closed the door, taking a ragged breath before trying to steady your breathing. You grit you teeth, tears falling. A choked sob escaped your throat as you finally let yourself break down. You fell onto your bed as you sobbed heavy, wracking sobs, soon muffled by your knees as you curled up into a ball.

A knock sounded at the door. "Y/N?" Another knock. "Hey, you in there? Can I come in?" There was a click as the door opened. You shook, now purposely trying to muffle your sobs.

A hand rested on your back, rubbing it soothingly. "It's me." Uncle Darren said. He pulled you up so that his arm was around your shoulders, your back to the wall. He pulled you closer, wrapping his other arm around you. He gently rocked you as you sobbed into his chest, nails digging into your palms, throat becoming raw from crying.  
Some time later, your sobs turned into hiccups as you ran out of tears to cry and your breathing became slightly less erratic. "Feel better?" your uncle asked. You nodded. taking a deep breath. "Hold on a second." Your uncle got up, and you shivered, crashing from the adrenaline and the relief of releasing the pent up despair. You opened your eyes as your uncle put a cloth under the tap, wringing it out before walking over and handing it to you. "Let's get you cleaned up. Here. Hold this over your eyes- the redness should go down in a minute or two." You dabbed it on your eyes gently, shivering. Your uncle took off his coat and wrapped it around your shoulders as you breathed slowly to calm yourself. A wave of tiredness washed over you and you yawned. "Come on. I'll help you pack. Let's go home." You nodded, sniffling. You wrung out the cloth and hung it up, pausing to look in the mirror. Your eyes were much better, but your face was still a little puffy, and your hair was a mess. You tried to fix your hair before going to help your uncle.  
Thirty minutes later, you wheeled out your suitcase and closed the door behind you. "Ready to go?" your uncle asked. You nodded, and the two of you walked to his car. Your uncle took your suitcase and stowed it in the back whilst you hopped in the front, leaning back, drifting off to the sounds of your uncle humming quietly along to the radio and the whirr of the road.  
Next thing you knew, you had pulled up the drive to your uncle's house.

The door opened, and a slightly balding man with curly, greying brown hair opened the door, a large smile on his face. “Hey, kiddo!” He opened his arms wide, and a small smile graced your face as he gave you one of his signature bear hugs. “Come on in- I’ll get your case.” Your smile widened as your uncle’s sunny disposition seeped through your sad, tired stupor. Uncle Darren smiled. Not his usual smile, but the one you only saw when Uncle Kev was around. Kev always strived to make people smile, and was genuinely the nicest person you’d ever had the fortune of knowing. 

You stepped inside. Immediately, you noticed mouth-watering aromas wafting in from the kitchen. The stylish, well-loved furniture was in the same place as always, and-

BARK! The thump clatter and click of excited paws came from the living room. A large, excited golden retriever galloped towards you, jumping up to lick your face. “Toby! Down!” Uncle Darren said commandingly. Toby, of course, paid no attention, and you laughed, ruffling his ears and fur affectionately. “Well, you haven’t changed much.” Uncle Kev sighed. “He’s the sweetest, thickest creature I’ve ever met.” You wrapped your arms around him as he sniffed your ear, the sniffle-snuffle amplified by the proximity of his wet nose. “Ack!” Toby began licking your ear. and you jerked away. “Toby, you numpty!” You jerked away. Darren snorted. “Try having him doing that to you at three A.M., whilst you’re dead asleep and on medication. That was an interesting night, to say the least.” You chuckled. “Classic Toby.” You held his face, gently squishing it. “You goober.” Toby panted happily. You took your case from your uncle. "I guess I'll be taking the guestroom?" Darren nodded. "We brought some stuff from your house and did it up a bit." Kev smiled. "It was all his idea. He didn't want you to have a boring room for awhile, so he decided to have a look at your room and your dorm to get some ideas." You grinned. “Thank you so, so much!” You raced up the stairs, turning down the familiar corridor to the room at the end.

You opened the door and gasped. The walls were a pale blue. A four poster bed with a grey duvet and fluffy pillows sat in the corner, near the window overlooking a pond. It had flowing blue curtains around it, which you loved. Fairy lights adorned the inside, and several paintings and pictures of yours were framed on the wall. An end table with a simple lamp and a stylish alarm clock stood next to the bed. A grey desk sat by the other window, a clear chair tucked neatly underneath. There was a radiator, painted white, with what you assumed were magnetic notepads on the side. A massive squashy beanbag squatted next to it. A false fireplace added character to your blank wall, and you thought a mural would fit nicely. There was also a bookshelf, which had your favorite novels, but there was also a cd player and your cd collection neatly labeled in boxes according to artist. Your guitar, ukulele, and bass sat on one wall, hung up in the pride of place above a keyboard. There were several other details, such as the bulletin board on the back of the door, a box labeled "memories" in scrawled sharpie (this, you suspected, was the photos from your old room and dorm that you'd had tacked up) and one section of the wall which had a large blackboard which read "welcome home! love, uncle Kev and uncle Darren" and had a large smiley face pointing to a hanging box with a cloth and artist's chalk. "Use me!" a speech bubble said. There were several hanging terrariums, like you'd always wanted, and a plethora of cacti on the desk (even a bonsai tree and a mini orange tree, which you squealed over shamelessly). When you switched the lights off, glow in the dark stars shone from the ceiling. You sighed happily. "It's perfect." Uncle Darren smiled from the doorway. "I'm glad you like it. I left the arrangement of the photos up to you, and you can swap the paintings around or add a mural to the blank wall!" You gave him a big hug. Uncle Kev raced up the stairs. "Thanks, uncle Kev!" you said, giving him a massive bear hug, which he returned, lifting you off the ground. 

An hour or so later (you had no idea- you'd fallen asleep on the beanbag) you jolted awake to the sound of your ringtone. You groggily looked over to see who was calling. It was Tyler! You grinned, quickly clicking the little green icon. "Hey, Ty!" 

"Hey!" he responded. "Just got through customs, and I'll be boarding in like, half an hour. I just wanted to call you before I left." You smiled. "I'm gonna miss you." You heard him chuckle softly. "I'm gonna miss you too. I'll call you when I land, if you want." "I'd like that." A fuzzy mumble interrupted. "That's my flight. I'd better go." There was a pause. "I-I love you." You inhaled sharply, your heart racing. "I... I love you too, Ty." You heard his sigh of relief, and he laughed a little. You smiled. "Bye, Tyler." "Bye, Y/N. Take care." 

The line went dead, and you smiled. "Yeah." you said quietly. "I love him."


	11. Flashbacks and Strangulation. Merry Freakin' Christmas.

Thunder shook you from sleep. You rose, strangely awake. You checked your clock. 2:33 am. An eerie glow filled the room, illuminating objects in your room in colors beyond your imagination. You looked at the mirror on the wall, but there was only a mask. “This is what happens when we talk about symbolism in English class, goddamnit. Stupid dream.” You tried waking yourself up with a pinch, but to no avail. “Weird. That usually works.” You tried changing the scenery to something more pleasant, but again, to no avail. You stopped dead, realizing you’d been pacing. You looked at the clock again. 4:69. “Ah. That’d be my attempt to change the scenery.” The thunder rattled again, more chilling, like a marble in a PVC pipe. “Fuck this.” You curled up in bed again, shutting your eyes and attempting to sleep. Your door creaked. Cold fingers wrapped their hands around your neck.

And then you woke up, fighting for breath as you restrained a scream. “No. Not the FUCKING NIGHT TERRORS!” you thought.

You still couldn’t breathe, and tears coursed down your cheeks. You sobbed quietly, still feeling the hands around your neck and the sensation of strangulation. You shuddered involuntarily, fighting a panic attack as best you could. You gasped, breaking the breathing exercises you were miserably failing at maintaining. You just wanted out, wanted to scream so bad but were still afraid that the thing was there, irrational as it was. The feelings lingered after every dream you had, which was... beneficial for some dreams but brutal with others. It was kind of like a useless superpower. You dug your nails into the back of your palms, desperately trying to find some way to distract yourself. Your eyes flicked over to the washkit on your bedside table. You unzipped it, feeling around for a familiar object. The handle was worn in your hands, and you had flashbacks from other scars. You reveled in the pain, glad for the grounding sting. You flicked on your fairy lights, watching the blood shine like a dull ruby on your arm. You licked the cut, tasting rust. Continuing to do so, you reached for the box of plasters in your kit, placing two in an ‘X’ on top. You huffed, putting away your deadly drug and putting on a hoodie.

Somehow, it wasn’t the cold that was making you shiver.

You rocked, curled up like a small child, arms hugging knees, crying over a small, yet large, failure.

A knock sounded at your door, and you yelped. “Why are the lights on at this hour?” You stayed still, considering changing your mind about being certain you were awake. The handle clicked, and you dove under the covers, shaking.

“...Y/N? Is everything quite alright?”

Still no response on your end.

“It’s just me. Are you... indecent?” You peeped out. It was Uncle Kev. "No. Couldn't sleep, fell asleep too early I guess." Kevin nodded. "Alright. But that doesn't explain why you were hiding under the covers, Y/N." You froze, panicking as you pretended to yawn to gain time. "Oh, yeah. Had a freaky dream and woke up. You startled me is all." Kev raised his eyebrow. "Forgive me, but I call bullshit. I'm an actor, Y/N. I can tell when someone is lying or when someone is uncomfortable." You sagged. Damn. Thought you had him fooled. "Fine. I had a stupid night terror again, okay? Happy?" Kev shook his head. "No, I'm not. Why did you feel the need to lie to me?" Waves of panic surged through you. You wanted so badly to run, to hide, to not bring up the painful problems of your past. "I don't like talking about it. It makes me feel like shit, it's a shit experience, and it's pointless anyway. Talking about it won't help." Kev shook his head. "See, that's where you're wrong. It helps to get it off your chest so you don't go crazy bottling it all up." Kevin sighed. "I think we should take you to see someone." Your eyes went wide. "NO. Never again. I'm NOT going back! I-I can't, I won't, you can't make me! Not after what happened last time." You set your jaw, trying to hold back tears and keep your voice steady as ghosts of the past fluttered through your mind. "No thanks." Kevin looked shocked, trying to meet your eyes as you turned cold. "Okay then... That's a resounding no." You shook your head. "C-can you please leave?" you asked, not meeting his eyes. He nodded. "Yeah. Okay." He rose, turning off the light and shutting the door.

The days passed. Christmas came ever closer, but the holiday spirit never seeped in like it usually did. Each day dragged on, each night filled with scenes of burning and drowning and helplessness. 

Still, you carried on. It was the least you could do, you supposed. You had no intention of troubling your uncles with your many (way too many) problems. Each day, when you got up bleary-eyed at lunchtime, your uncles were singing Christmas carols in the kitchen or were decking the halls, or wearing ugly Christmas jumpers. Whilst the excessive amount of Christmas spirit was annoying to say the least, the pancakes Uncle Darren for you when you got up (even if it was 3 pm), or the big hugs that Uncle Kev gave when you woke up late at night made you feel safe and loved. You loved your parents dearly, but they never really had time for you 

However, even with the excess attention, you felt like a burden. They focussed on you, altered their lifestyle for you, and even went to the trouble of setting up your room. It was nice, but you felt like you could do more, even when they insisted otherwise. You just didn’t want to be any trouble. 

That was why, come Christmas morning, you awoke early, but not to unwrap presents. Instead, you tip-toed to the kitchen, and as quiet as a mouse, did the best you could to make breakfast. 

Now, cooking was definitely not your strong suit. You had received your first-ever failing grade in Cooking due to an abysmal, liquidy curry. But you made sure to pay close attention to the bacon, and decide to scramble the eggs, to avoid any fried egg disasters. You even remembered to pre-melt butter for the toast and toast the bread whilst everything cooked! 

But the piece de resistance was the pancakes. The last time you’d made pancakes, you spilled batter everywhere and nearly caused a small fire. This time, you were even flipping the pancakes in the air! The batter was light and fluffy, and you were quite pleased with yourself as you plated the food, cleared up the kitchen and set the table. And just in the nick of time, the moment the last plate was put on the table, you heard footsteps on the staircase. 

“What’s all this?” Uncle Kev asked, followed shortly by a yawning Uncle Darren. “It looks amazing!” You smiled bashfully. “I made you guys breakfast. You’ve been really helpful the past week and I just wanted to say thank you.” You laughed. “And no disasters this time, too!” Uncle Darren smiled. “You didn’t have to. Honestly, we just wanted to make sure that we could help you to get through all of this and at least enjoy Christmas. Even though, without fail, we hear the SAME cynical jokes about capitalism every year. You snorted. “But they’re TRUE.” Kev shook his head, chuckling. “Yes, but that’s not the point.” He clasped his hands, surveying the food. “Right! We should probably dig in before it gets cold.” 

And you did. You were dead chuffed about the results, and the compliments from your uncles had you beaming. You hadn’t smiled like that in a while. You poured maple syrup on your pancakes. Uncle Darren stared, wide-eyed. “That’s an AWFUL lot of maple syrup, young man.” Kev waved his hand. “Lay off. That’s what pancakes are for! You use them to have excessive amounts of maple syrup without looking stupid.” You laughed. “Not only that, but if it gets on the bacon it doesn’t even taste that bad.” Uncle Darren nodded, conceding to your point. “Yeah, I guess I can see that.” This time, Uncle Kevin stared, vaguely repulsed. “Maple Syrup? On BACON? Have you gone mad?!” 

The argument lasted the entirety of breakfast. 

When everyone had cleaned their plate, Uncle Darren walked over to the tree and picked up a small present. “This is for you!” he said, handing it to you. You tore through the paper to reveal-

An electronic drawing tablet. 

“OH MY GOSH!!! Oh my freakin lord- this is amazing!” You studied it more, awestruck. “Ha. Huion 420.” Uncle Kev looked at Uncle Darren quizzically. Darren shook his head. “Don’t ask. It’s a meme.” You looked at him, pride in your eyes. “You referenced a meme... well, more like an inside joke with anyone under the age of like 25 but CLOSE ENOUGH. I’m so proud!” you said, faking a teary smile. Uncle Darren laughed. "I've spent enough time around teenagers to get that one. I’m so glad you like it.” He handed you another. “Here, open this.” Once again, you tore through the paper once again. “It’s a practice pad! Wait, does that mean-“ Uncle Kev grinned. 

"We got you the drum lessons you wanted." You hugged your uncles. "Thank you guys so, so much!" You grinned. "I can't wait to tell Josh! I just got word that he's joining as well as Tyler- it's going to be awesome!" You stood quickly. "Before I open any more, I gotta get the one for you guys. Hold up a second." You dashed to your room, grabbed the carefully wrapped present, and bolted back to the tree. "Goodness!" Uncle Kev remarked. "That's quite big!" You snorted. "Oh, alright. I heard it." You handed him the present. He unwrapped it carefully before gasping. Uncle Darren looked awestruck. "You told me once that you wished that you'd had a better photographer at your wedding. It's the photo of you at the altar, the grainy one. I did my best to recreate it." You smiled. "Do you like it?" Uncle Darren looked at you, eyes watery. "It's beautiful! We had no idea you could paint like this..." He choked. "I always loved that photo, and now I can appreciate it and remember one of the best days of my life." He outstretched an arm. "Come here." You flopped on the couch next to him, and Kev scooched in closer on the other side of you. They used to call it a "hug sandwich" when you were younger. You grinned. "I'm really glad you like it. I remember being up one night at like, three AM cursing myself for not doing it sooner as I fussed over the lighting on the left side on the arch of flowers." Uncle Kev smiled. "Thank you, Y/N." He got up, tossing you another gift. "Alright, we better pick up the pace, otherwise this is going to take all day."

Several hours later, you lay down on your bed, listening to the phone ring as you waited for Tyler to pick up. "Hey!" Tyler grinned. "Merry Christmas!" You grinned. "Merry Christmas to you too, mate! How's it going?" "Yeah, great man! What about-" the camera jostled and a loud "OOF" was heard as someone bowled into Tyler. "Who you talking to?" "Uh, just one of my friends from Littleton-" He was cut off. "OOH, is it your girlfriend? Do you have a fancy British girlfriend?" "What? NO! Zack, go AWAY." Footsteps were heard pounding away as Zack ran away, giggling. "Wow. Now I remember why I said no to siblings when I was younger. Jeez." Tyler chuckled. "Yeah. That was Zack. I have three siblings. I'm the oldest, then there's Jay, and Zack, and Madison." He snorted. "All of them are equal pains in my ass except for maybe Madison because she's the baby of the family and also an absolute angel." He straightened the camera as he got up from what looked to be a couch. "I'm just gonna move somewhere quieter because I don't know if you can hear but all of my siblings are being super loud in the other room." You laughed. "Yeah, I can hear it. Too much chocolate, I assume?" Tyler grimaced. "Yep. Happens every year." "Sounds like fun." Ty flopped down on his bed, having reached his destination. "How are your uncles? How'd they react to your painting?" You smiled. "They loved it. Uncle Kevin was speechless and Uncle Darren was crying- like, happy crying." "That's amazing!" "I made them breakfast, too, to thank them for taking me under their wing so quickly. My parents-" You choked a little. "Are you okay?" You swallowed. "Yeah." You cleared your throat. "They never really made a huge deal about Christmas. Sometimes I wouldn't even get to go home, and they'd just send me something from whatever country they were in." You swallowed harder. "But this year was the best Christmas I've ever had. They were just so... warm. And not to sound spoiled or whatever, but they paid attention to me. Made we feel wanted, like I... I wasn't an afterthought, y'know?"

Tyler nodded. "Yeah. I'm really glad you're feeling better." You sighed. "Well, it's an improvement." A garbled voice was heard in the background. "Oh, shoot. I gotta go. Gotta go to church." "Okay! See you later. Love you." Tyler grinned, and you took a photo. "Love you too." The call ended, and you looked at the photo you'd taken of him. He looked so happy. You studied it further, a goofy grin plastered across your face. 

You couldn't wait to see him in a week's time.


	12. The New Kids On The Block

Your alarm blared in your ear. You groaned, flopping over to stop it and knocking your phone off the table in the process. You sat up and grabbed your phone, switching off the alert and stretching. Bursts of color filled your vision as your head went fuzzy and then clear again. "Jeez." You looked at the time. 5:45 AM. Usually you got up at 7, but not today.

Today was your first school day in the Treeble-Coleman household. Uncle Darren got up at 6:30 to leave at 7:30, but today you had to make a stop at the boarding house to drop off your kit. So, in actuality, you had to leave at 7:15, hopefully arriving at 7:30. You always got up early enough to see the sun peep over the horizon, and today was no exception. So you stared out the window and watched the sun spill its colors across the sky.

You began your morning routine. A short workout was up first. Pushups, situps, and squats, done 20 times each. Then you'd grab out your uniform and get dressed. You'd packed your bag the night before, schoolbooks arranged neatly with your pencil case. Your case was waiting by the door, and you grabbed your guitar, uke, and bass and stacked it neatly against it.

Once again checking the time, you saw that it was 6:15, and your uncle was not yet up. "Damn, did he forget to set his alarm?" He always had to have an hour to get ready. He had impeccable time management, but his only flaw was that he was not a morning person. "Guess I'm now the alarm."

You tiptoed down the hall, grabbing Toby's collar and bringing him with you as a wicked idea crossed your mind. Pushing the door open, you led him to Uncle Darren's side of the bed. "Toby!" you whispered. "Go up! Say hi to Uncle Darren!" Toby jumped on the bed, promptly deciding to sit on him and lick his face. "UGH! Toby, off!"

Toby did not get off, so you were forced to pry him off of your sleep confused uncle.

“Uncle Darren, it’s time to get up. It’s nearly 6:20."

He bolted up, disturbing Kev in the process. “Already?” he groaned as your uncle hurriedly scrambled to get up. You left the room, going downstairs and making some toast and putting on the kettle to make coffee for you and tea for your uncles. You never really ate in the mornings, as often it made you ill. You sat down, scrolling through your Instagram feed and sipping your coffee. As 7:00 approached, you heard Uncle Darren come down the stairs. "Hi," you said. "There's tea on the bench." He ruffled your hair affectionately. You squawked in protest. "Thanks, Y/N." He sat down next to you, and you pocketed your phone, sipping your coffee. Uncle Darren frowned. "Is that coffee black?" You nodded. "Like my soul." He snorted. "Pfft. But seriously, isn't that bad for you?" You shrugged. "Hasn't killed me yet." He chuckled. "You are quite the little cynic, aren't you?" You sipped your coffee nonchalantly. "I live and breathe it." You took another sip, checking your watch. "We should get a head start. It's the first day back and there's more likely to be a traffic jam." You drained your coffee mug as your uncle stared. "How are you more responsible than me this morning?" You put the mug in the dishwasher. "I've always had to look after myself. Not only that, but for once I want to get to school asap." Your uncle smiled as he put his mug alongside yours.

"You know that Tyler doesn't get in until midday, right?" You turned your head so quickly you nearly gave yourself whiplash. "That's not-" He put his hand up, cutting you off. "Relax. I'm not having a go, alright? I'm just saying. Don't get too distracted. He'll be in period four or five." You huffed. "Alright." You shoved your shoes on quickly, moving your case out of the door along with your instruments, bag slung over your shoulder. "Need help?" your uncle asked. "Yeah, thanks." You handed him your instruments, and he put them in the back of the car. Uncle Kev came to the door, still in his pajamas. "Alright, then. Have a good day, you two." He gave your uncle a peck on the cheek, and gave you a big bear hug. "See you at half term! Tell Tyler I said hi." You grinned. "Will do!" You put your bags in the trunk, grinning at your uncle and waving. "Bye Uncle Kev!" He smiled back. "Take care." You got in, closing the door as Uncle Darren started the car. "So... would you do the honors of being the DJ?" You grinned as he passed you the cable. "I would love nothing more." You connected your phone and scrolled through your playlists. "How awake are you?"

Ten minutes later, the two of you approached your school's boarding house, belting the lyrics to "Dancing's Not A Crime" at top volume. When you finally pulled up in front of the building, you disconnected your phone and unbuckled your seatbelt. "I'll be back in a sec- I'm going to pop my case in my room. I'll take my instruments to the music rooms." "Okay." your uncle replied. "See you in a sec." You grabbed your case and ran to the front door, swiping your ID and (not without an excessive amount of difficulty dragging your case up the three flights of stairs) dashed to your room. It looked a little bare, but the same as ever. The bed was messy, photos pasted around the edge of the mirror, and guitar stand in the corner.

You left your drawing tablet on the desk, as a reminder to set it up after school. An idea struck you as you glanced at Tyler's empty bed. Grabbing a brightly colored pen, you wrote the words "welcome back, Tyler!" on a piece of paper and left it on his bed. Smiling, you left your case and returned to the car. "Do you want help taking those to the music department?" your uncle asked as he signed in at the front desk, looking at you struggling to balance three instruments and a backpack. "Yeah." Your uncle grabbed your guitar and bass. You checked your watch. 7:40. "I'm going to put my uke in my locker." Your uncle nodded. "I'll put these in the band room, on the rack." "Thanks!" You jogged to your locker, turning the key and carefully placing your uke inside. You turned the key, rejoining your uncle in the music department. He was lazily playing the piano, a few notes here, some chords there, all seeming to flow into one, lazy little song.

A very familiar song.

"Sounds great, Uncle Darren," you remarked. "Mind if I join in?" He gestured to his guitar, propped against the wall. You picked it up, strumming at infrequent intervals whilst you tried to figure it out. "You've nearly got it. It's capo five. You were right about all the others, though." He played a few bars, showing the pattern of the chords and the little flourishes as you strummed along from time to time, doing your best to keep up, singing the words, and smiling when he joined in. Soon, your uncle checked his watch. "8:20. It's almost time for tutor." He switched off the piano.

"If you want to, make yourself scarce. You said nobody except your friends know I'm your uncle?" You nodded. "No offense, but it's awkward to explain and it doesn't always get the best reactions." He nodded. "Don't worry. Now shoo, before they come in from the Dining Hall. You nodded as you waited outside the Hall, looking for Kat's familiar face. Of course, you were completely distracted throughout all of your lessons.

Lunch passed with no sign of Tyler, and you were beginning to worry. Come Period Five, you were all but pacing, practically hissing at someone who tried to take the seat next to you at your table in the back with Kat, as you hoped Ty would fill it. You kept checking the time. 2:15. 2:20. 2:30, 2:32, 2:36- A knock was heard on the door. "Come in!" your math teacher, Mr. Enfield said cheerfully. "Is this Mr. Enfield's math class?" He grinned. "Yes, it is! I assume you're Tyler?" He nodded. "Yes, sir. Josh is here too." "Excellent! If you would sit at that table there with Y/N please!" Tyler obeyed, sliding into the seat next to you, Josh across from him. "Hey." he said, grinning and squeezing your hand under the table. "It's so good to see you again."

He nodded. "I was goin' crazy in Ohio after seeing England. Thanks for the tip, by the way. We'd never call our teachers "sir" in Ohio." You smiled. "No biggie. I'll let you know other stuff too. For now, let's pretend like we care about geometry." Tyler chuckled, and the lesson seemed a lot more tolerable. Several hours later, after dinner, you were sitting on the floor with Tyler, helping him unpack. Josh had been settled into a room with James (not Lucas' James, Annie's James.) and the two got on swimmingly. As you re-folded a hoodie, you felt arms circle around your waist as Tyler hugged you from behind.

"Hey." you smiled, throwing it into a drawer. "Hey, you." Tyler kissed your neck tenderly, and warmth spread throughout you as you leaned back into him. "I missed this." You turned to face him, looking into his warm, brown eyes. He cupped your cheek, reeling you in with his gaze and his touch as he kissed you tenderly. It was without urgency, just slow and calm, like remembering a sunny afternoon. You broke the kiss, leaning forward and burying your face into Tyler's shoulder. This. You never wanted to lose this. Because no matter where you were, the familiar smell and touch and butterflies made you feel safe. And these days, that was hard to come by.


	13. The Adjustment Period

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow! this is a long one, guys. I'm so sorry I've been away so long- my life got very complicated as of late and I wasn't in a fit state mentally to continue this. Now that I have time, I've finished this- but another one may be a while in the works. I've got exams and about four weeks left so once school's out I'll make sure to try and update more. Love you all, enjoy!

You woke up, stretching and listening to your bones pop. You groaned, quietly opening the door so as not to disturb Tyler. For now, the two of you had decided to sleep in separate beds lest you be caught together. You didn't like it, but it was the safest decision. Tiptoeing down the corridor, you listened to the sounds of people beginning to stir; to birds beginning to chirp; to the gentle sounds that said "Good morning. Today is a new day."

You jumped, climbing onto the windowsill like you'd done hundreds of times before. The glass was cool as you rested your head on it, observing the waking world. The sun turned the clouds a pastel palette of colors, the forest veins of gold, the grass edged with it and swaying gently in the breeze. The pond rippled gently, a distorted version of this serene world.

"Good morning."

You whipped around. "Oh, it's you, Tyler. You startled me." He chuckled. "Sorry." He gestured to the window. "Is there room for two?" You nodded, scootching over. Tyler clambered onto the sill, looking out onto the honey-drenched world. "It's beautiful," he said. "I can see why you do this." You absentmindedly laced your fingers with his, stroking it with your thumb. The sun had finally risen over the horizon. "Let's go back, huh?" You nodded. "Yeah." You slid off the sill, still holding Tyler's hand as he followed suit. The two of you tiptoed to your dorm, opening the door quietly. You yawned. "God, I am not fuckin ready for today. I don't know about you, but I always have trouble getting back into the school rhythm after the holidays." Ty nodded. "Yeah, me too. The amount of jetlag kills, man." "Ugh, I feel that on a spiritual level." You checked your watch. "Shit, it's almost seven. We should probably start getting ready." Tyler nodded. "Yeah. Wouldn't want Mac biting my head off." You rifled through your clothing, looking for your uniform. Stripping your shirt, you slid your button-down on. You noticed Tyler looking from the corner of his eye. "Take a picture; it lasts longer." you joked. He shrugged, pulling out his phone and taking a picture.

"TYLER!" He grinned. "What? You SAID take a picture." He showed it to you. "Plus, it's not even that bad." You took a look. "Yeah, okay. Fine. You can keep it, you creeper." He gave you a quick peck. "Thanks, babe." You cleared your throat, turning slightly pink. Tyler slid his shirt on, and before he could button it, you snapped a photo. "Suck it!" Tyler's head whipped up from where he was trying to button his shirt. "HEY! Creeper yourself," he said, chuckling.

You shook your head, buttoning your shirt and getting on with the day. Twenty minutes later, the two of you pelted down the stairs to the common room, grabbing a spot on the sofa, awaiting the housemaster. He arrived at 7:27, alongside several sullen boys and Lucas. He flopped onto the couch. "Well. We've missed someone." Your eyes went wide. "Wait, who?!" He shook his head. "Will. I told you he was in the closet! He just got caught with Simon. Holding hands." He sighed. "I think I saved their necks but I'm not sure Mac bought it." "What'd you say?" Tyler interjected. "I said Simon had lost a bet so I made him hold hands with Will until breakfast because I had an IOU from Will." You nodded. "Solid. Considering Mac's IQ, I'd say we're safe." He snorted, and Tyler suddenly had a coughing fit.

Mac made his way to the front of the room. "Alright, you lot. Cleanup tomorrow, take your rubbish out, and make your beds. Anyone who fails inspection will have to be on kitchen duty for a week." He cleared his throat, glaring at the boarders. "And if I catch any more shenanigans, there will be trouble." You grimaced. "Right, well that will be all. You can go to breakfast now." The sound of scraping chairs and chatter filled the room in an amicable kerfuffle. "So." you began, turning to Tyler. "Ready to start your first real day at Littleton?" He grinned. "Nope. Do I have a choice?"

You laughed, leaning in and whispering to him. "By the way, your ass looks pretty good in those pants." He flushed, grinning. You desperately wanted to get closer, but you couldn't risk it. After breakfast, you walked to tutor, chatting casually about goings-on and classes for the day. You reached the music classroom, dropping your bags outside before knocking and poking your head around the door. "Come in." You held the door for Tyler, finding Josh already sitting down with a few others. "Ayyy, you're in our tutor!" He grinned, hugging Tyler. "I asked to be in the same one as you guys. I'm glad it worked out that way." You elbowed him in the ribs. "Kat texted me. She should be here soon!" One of the guys, called Dan, looked on confusedly. "Isn't Kat your girlfriend?"

Shit.

You'd forgotten all about the fact that you were fake dating Kat.

How in the fuck were you going to worm your way outta this one?

"Uhhh..." You cleared your throat. An idea popped into your head. "Oh yeah. Kat and I broke up. We decided it'd be better if we were just friends." You shrugged. "I mean, not that it's any of your business, but you know," you responded coolly. "I-I'm sorry mate. Didn't mean to pry." You shrugged. "It's whatever." You fell onto a chair, as your uncle rose from his chair. "Right, good morning class! Welcome to a new year. Your timetables have changed." He put a stack of papers on the table. "I'll just let you all talk amongst yourselves so you can catch up or decorate your timetables." You grabbed your pencil case from outside with your many highlighters and colored pencils. You dumped them on the table, arranging them. Dan eyed them disdainfully. "Dude, that's a lot of highlighters. That's a little gay, man." Before you could reply, Mr. Treeble responded, without looking up from his computer, "Daniel, your vibes right now are disgusting. We don't talk like that in school. You've failed your vibe check. Now, apologize."

You stared at your uncle in shock and pride as Dan stuttered out an apology, as much in shock as you were. Your classmates were chuckling and a smattering of applause went up. "Funnily enough, I do pick up things here and there." You shook your head, chuckling and going back to decorating your timetable. "That was kinda cursed but also really funny." a familiar voice said. Your head whipped around. "Kat!" She grinned. "Hey, dumbass." She sat near Josh. "Did you make copies of the track for me and Josh?" You nodded, grabbing your bag from outside and digging through your stuff. "Here," you said, handing one to each of them. "I'll give it a listen later," she responded, pocketing it.

The bell rang, and you looked at your now-colorful timetable. "Hey, we have music first! We don't even have to move. Sweet." Mr. Treeble stood up. "May I speak with you a moment, Y/N?" You shrugged as he opened the door and you followed him to the recording studio. "I forgot to ask you this earlier," he said, once the door had closed. "You don't have to, but your uncle and I were wondering if you'd want to board during the week and come home at weekends. You can stay if there are excursions or if you decide you feel like spending the weekend there, it's up to you." You grinned. "I'd love that!" Your uncle grinned. "Maybe then you'll bring Tyler over." You chuckled. "You wish." He smiled. "Glad we had the chance to talk." You hugged him. "It's just nice to not be an afterthought." You walked back to class, not noticing your uncle's stricken face. He hadn't realized that you were so used to feeling like a second priority.

You rejoined your classmates, unpacking your bag as your uncle began to explain the lesson. "So! Today, we're going to be beginning our GCSE compositions. The theme for this year's curriculum is New Beginnings. Now, it seems like a pretty narrow topic, but it could be anything, really. It could be a new relationship, a new place, a new sibling or life, or even a new season. It's up to you, and it's about how you interpret it. You could record it entirely on Logic, or partially, or only use live instruments recorded, or both. Like I said, it's up to you! Now, you guys are lucky, because recently they have allowed the practical part of the course to be group work as well as the traditional independent work." People started to look around, whispers fluttering around as people asked who would work with who.

"I'm not finished yet, guys." Your uncle interjected, ceasing the chatter. "While you might think that it's less work, or just an opportunity to talk with your friends, I can assure you that in fact, the exam board has made sure that everyone will be working and nobody will be slacking and depending on the group. A deadweight, if you will. Each person is going to have to write in a booklet documenting what you did. This is going to be for notes and ideas, and you'll do a neater copy when your song has been completed. If you decide to do individual work, you will only need to do the practical and a summary." There were fewer whispers this time. "Well. That's narrowed it down." He chuckled.

"Right. I'll let you pick groups now. I'll check back with you in a minute, and take notes of groups and who's working on their own." The chatter rose again, and you made a beeline for Tyler and Josh, waving Kat over to join you. "Kat, come here!" She walked over. "Ok, so, this is a dope group. No denying it." You laughed. "Yes bitch. Periodt." Tyler laughed. "So, any ideas?" Josh shrugged. "Nope." Kat shook her head. "Nah." "As of right now, no. I'm sure we'll figure it out and be able to brainstorm today," you responded. "Yeah."

Your uncle clapped to grab the attention of the class. "Alright, just so I can make a note of who's doing what, can you put your hand up if you're doing individual work?" Over half the class raised their hands as Mr. Treeble made a note. "Alright- so who's working with who?" You raised your hand. "I'm working with Josh, Tyler, and Kat," you stated, as clearly as possible, trying to keep your hand from shaking too much. Mr. Treeble smiled. "Ok!" He turned to the remaining five students. "Is this a five?" "Yeah. Five." a girl clarified. He finished his notes and addressed the class once more. "Okay! Now that's all sorted, you can go grab a practice room and begin brainstorming. Have fun!" He smiled. Everyone scrambled, trying to get the best room. You ran down the corridor, grabbing a small one at the end. "Okay, guys. It doesn't look like it, but this is the best one." The room was small. Not so small as to be uncomfortable, but in a safe way. This was your safe spot. There was an old wood piano against the wall, and a tattered stool with it. There was a chair, likely nicked from a nearby classroom, and a stool. In one wall, there was an old, disused door sealed off and covered in ivy, and a little ledge by the adjacent window. It was by no means the nicest, but it was the safest, as it was at the end of the corridor and far away from most people.

"Your safe room?" Kat said. "Yeah." You smiled. "This was the first music room I used here, and it was the smallest and safest room to me. I come here when I feel nervous or anxious." Tyler nodded. "I can see why." He thumbed through his booklet. "So, any ideas?" he said, sitting at the piano stool. You tapped your pencil against your thigh, looking out the window, through the ivy. "Not yet." Josh sat on the ledge, booklet open. "Well, new beginnings," he said, pointing his pen at you and Tyler. "This is pretty new," he said, writing it down.

You nodded. "Yeah... but I don't want to write it as a sappy one, you know?" you said. "I mean, I wanted to say something earlier, but I was kinda scared. I'd had experiences with people where after the relationship ended, I felt like... well, like I didn't deserve to be loved. And I wanted so, so desperately for you to say something, and prove me wrong. Y'know?" Tyler looked at you sadly. "That's so awful. You deserve it as much as the next person." You smiled. "Thanks, Ty." Just then, Josh's phone went off. Josh took his phone out of his blazer pocket. "Hey, guess what! The school has decided that I can bring Jim to classes!" Tyler grinned. "That's awesome, buddy!" You looked at Josh quizzically. "Jim?" He smiled. "I have a similar thing to you. I actually have really bad social anxiety, but I've been taking pills to help while Jim's away. He's my therapy dog. He helps me with panic attacks and other things." Josh said. "I tried just taking pills but it made me a little sick. It's like being allergic to something, but only if you eat too much, you know?" You nodded. "Yeah. Is he in the boarding house?" Josh nodded. "He just arrived today. They had to keep an eye on him and do some checkups before they let him into the country." You smiled. "That's great, dude. Are you still gonna be sharing with James?" He shook his head. "No, but I'll be in the empty one near you guys." "Cool! I can't wait to meet him. Just so I know in advance, like, what kind of rules do you have Jim-wise?"

Josh cleared his throat. "So, uh, no petting him on the job, but when we're in the boarding house and it's just a few of us, you can pet him. Just 'cause I don't do well around lots of other people, and if I feel uncomfortable I don't want Jim getting distracted." You nodded. "That's valid." "Also, don't feed him steak. For some reason, it makes him fart." everyone laughed. "That is also valid." "Ok, but for real," Tyler interjected. "We should probably get back to work." You took a breath. "Yeah." Tyler started playing a soft melody, trying a chord, then correcting it. "Hey, I like that," Kat said. You nodded, agreeing. "Yeah. It's cool. Gentle. I like it." Josh thought for a minute, before interjecting. "So like, maybe- just a touch of cymbals there, and then add some drum buildups in the chorus?" Tyler nodded. "Sounds good." "Ty, what chords are those?" He paused. "Uhhh, well..." He played the first few. "I think they're A major, E major, uhhh... G and F major 7." he said, brows furrowed. You got up. "I'll be right back," you said, dashing off to grab your ukulele.

You ran back as quickly as possible. Once you came back, you sat down next to Tyler, leaning against the seat. "Ok, play the chords now." Tyler played the chords, and you strummed along. You wrote them down. "We should all write this stuff down. I think we should, like add a variation of these chords or something." Tyler nodded. A knock sounded at the door. "Guys, it's almost the end of the lesson. It's time to come back now. You frowned. "Okay. Damn, we were beginning to get somewhere." Your uncle smiled.

"I mean, I do want you to get outside- but you can come back and work on it at break or lunchtime. I'm glad you guys are working well." "Will do. Ty, do you wanna work on those chords at break?" "Not like I've got anywhere to be." "I'm going to go get Jim from the boarding house at break. He'll probably be a little excited but he should be perfectly fine. Uh, Kat- do you wanna come with? He should probably take a walk after that long cooped up." She smiled. "I'd like that." You checked your timetable. "I have Classic Civ next- what do you guys have?"

"I've got Classic Civ, too- what about you two?" Tyler frowned. "Media Studies." Josh smiled. "Hey, me too!" "At least we have it together. I hope we don't get put in too many different classes," he said, as they picked up their bags and waited to be dismissed.

During Civ, you barely bothered to listen. You were in a daze, thinking about Tyler. You just couldn't believe he was here with you at school. The fact you could laugh with him, talk to him, and cuddle him every day just blew your mind. That and he didn't have to be coaxed into doing things that were affectionate. You didn't have much experience, but from what little you had experienced... "Y/N, care to share your thoughts with the class? You seem to be very invested in them. Come on, we're all ears." Now, you weren't about to stand there and tell the truth, so instead, you decided upon a snarky response. "Oh, sorry. I was wondering if when my parents died, you know, did they die slowly or quickly? You know, because it was a plane crash. I mean, it was either the fire or the impact that would've killed them."

Naturally the class was silent.

You didn't want to say anything like that, really, and you did feel awful, but you detested your teacher, Mr. Booker. He had an inexplicable hatred for you from when you started, often singling you out for no reason. It was hilarious to watch him squirm, and after a few more seconds, you raised an eyebrow, seemingly annoyed. "Can we get back to the lesson?" He nodded and resumed teaching.

Kat elbowed you in the arm. "Ok, two things," she whispered. "One: thank you for doing that, that was both evil and hilarious and two: I'm guessing that you were daydreaming about a certain someone?" You exhaled quickly. "Yeah- get off my back dude. Besides, what's up with you and Josh? You both know you like each other, why don't you just ask him out?" She blushed, kicking you under the table. "Dude! I do NOT have the balls for that. Plus, well... I kinda want him to ask me out." You rolled your eyes. "Adorable. Do you want me to drop him a hint?" She nodded. "Please. That boy may be like, super hot, but he's also, like, super oblivious." You snorted, and tried to focus on the PowerPoint about the different battle formations used by the Romans.

When the bell rang for break, you dashed off to the music room, grabbing your uke and dashing to the end music room. You sat in the little alcove by the door, plucking a few notes idly. The door opened. "Hey, babe," Tyler said, giving you a little peck. "How was Classic Civ?" You sighed. "Boring, mostly. Except for the part where I was off with the fairies and having some gay-ass thoughts and not paying attention and I got called out for it, and then when Mr. Booker asked what I was thinking about I told him I was wondering if my parents died slowly or not." Tyler chuckled nervously. "Very dark. Did he squirm a lot?" You laughed. "Oh, dude. So much. Like, SO much. He just stood there like a deer in headlights until I asked him if he could continue the lesson." Tyler laughed. "That's the one you kinda hate, right?" You nodded. "Like, a whole lot. He's a conniving bastard." You laughed. "How was Media Studies?"

Tyler shrugged. "It was okay. We talked about the stuff we would cover, what you do in media studies, that sorta thing." You nodded. "Solid." "So, I was thinking about the chords. So the first bit goes A, E, G, F#7, and then it changes to D, A, Bm, E, and A." You played it on your uke. "What kind of rhythm are you planning on doing?" He frowned. "Well... I think a sort of dah-dah, duh, duh, dah duh duh duh duh." He said, playing a few chords and singing the emphasis. "So... I guess I should do like a one/two strum? Like, two of each or..." Ty nodded. "Two, I think. One is more random. I was also thinking about, like, a change in pattern and chords for the chorus. I don't know what yet, but I'll think of one." You nodded. "Also, like, I made a few notes today. Some cool lyrics." Tyler nodded. "Go on." "I might just take my pride and go is one... then there's so won't you come around and prove me wrong... and that's about it right now." Tyler smiled. "I like it!" The bell rang. "Time for class... we have chemistry next." He smiled. "Can we be lab partners?" You nodded. "Sure!" you said, kissing him softly.

"Yo, what the fuck?!"

Your blood ran cold as you broke apart and stared in the doorway. 

It was Dan.

"Dude... What the fuck?"

Your heart raced as you stumbled to say something, anything. Thankfully, Tyler could. "Dan, please. I'm begging you, don't say anything." 

Dan stuttered in shock. "I-I-I-"

Then he ran off. 

You turned to Tyler, terror in your eyes. 

"What in the fuck are we going to do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm so evil- Just kidding. But yes, I did have to make them suffer. Sorry not sorry. With that said, Silver out- and I'll see you in the next chapter.


	14. Suffering! At The Schoolhouse

Tyler held you as you shook, repressing the waves of panic flooding your system. "I don't know. I wish I knew what to do, Y/N. We're fucking screwed, dude." You stepped back, head reeling. "He's going to tell everyone. We're so fucked. Oh, Jesus, we are so fucked." Tyler began pacing. "Should we tell your uncle or something?" You sat down. "I dunno, dude! We're so unbelievably fucked. Probably??" You sighed. "Look, babe..." Tyler said, taking your hand, "Whatever happens, I promise we'll get through this together. I won't leave you." You smiled. "I won't leave you either. I'm not gonna lose this." He smiled, kissing your forehead gently as he held you. "C'mon. We have chem next," he said, slinging his arm around your shoulder.

Chemistry was uneventful. You listened to Mr. Woodrow waffle on about atom structure, not caring too much. At this point, everything was just revision. Admittedly, atom structure wasn't your strong suit, and listening would be beneficial- but you just... couldn't bring yourself to listen. Your heart was still pounding, and you kept listening in to Dan's conversations, wondering when he would tell the whole year that you were as straight as a roundabout. But, as Chemistry finished and the bell rang for lunch, still nothing had happened. You immediately ran up to Tyler. "I think I'm going to go talk to him. If he really wanted to hurt us, he would've said something. Tell Kat and Josh for me, please." Tyler nodded. "Be careful." You grabbed your bag and watched as Daniel left the building. As you wondered how you were going to get him alone, he made eye contact with you and marched over. "You're coming with me to the music rooms. Don't talk to me until we get there. If you say anything to anyone, I'll tell them." 

Oh shit. He was for real. You followed him, wondering if this was where you got hospitalized by a gang of boys waiting for you there. He made his way into the end music room, motioning to the stool in the corner. "Siddown, Gaylord." You sat, beginning to be very scared, and confused.

"So, you're snogging Joseph? Why am I not surprised that you're a huge faggot?" he said, snorting and pacing around the room. "What do you want, Daniel?" you said, crossing your arms. He turned, face suddenly full of something... hungry. You couldn't quite place it. "What was it like?" "W-what?" you stuttered, shocked. 

"What. Was. It. Like?" 

You began to understand. "Look, Dan... It's normal to question stuff. I-"

"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY, FAG." He said, marching towards you. "Tell me. Right now." His voice broke. "So I know I'm not missing out." 

You took a deep breath. "Look. Just calm down a second. Can we just talk like civil people?" 

Dan went quiet. 

"I guess I'll have to find out for myself." 

He grabbed your tie, crashing his lips to yours and pinning you to the wall. You gasped, struggling, but all he did was force his tongue between your lips. You tried to pull away, but all you could do was bang your head against the wall. Freeing your hands, you pushed him away. "What the fuck?" You wiped your mouth. "Don't touch me, you asshole!" you snapped. Dan growled. "If you tell anyone or resist, I will tell everyone the fag that you are. Even if you did try to tell them, they wouldn't believe you." 

You were shaking now. Your hands, your arms, your legs- you wanted to run so, so badly. But Dan was blocking the only exit, and you knew even if you tried to fight him you would end up with the worse end of the stick. So, you waited, praying that he would just go.

But of course, he didn't.

Dan chuckled. "Good boy." He advanced, pushing you into the corner. "If you pull anything, remember: I can ruin your faggy life. If you resist, maybe I'll give your Yank boyfriend a similar treatment." You didn't move, didn't say anything- you didn't dare. Not only had he threatened you, he'd threatened Tyler, so you remained still as he approached you. Once again, he grabbed your tie, pinning you to the wall and forcing his cold tongue between your lips. 

The part that scared you the most was not the fact that you couldn't move- it was that Dan's hand kept venturing lower and lower, eventually resting on your hip. "No struggle... but no response, either. Guess I'll just have to do this."

He started to slowly rub your thigh. You panicked, opening your mouth to shout, but all he did was smother your cries with his lips as he began moving inwards. You began to struggle- trying to squirm out of his grip. He ceased his inwards creeping to slap you in the face. "Don't. Remember what I said about funny business?" You stopped, body shaking as you tried to resist the urge to cry. You sobbed, a sharp intake of breath. "Oh, what's the matter? Isn't this what you wanted?" He said, silencing you once again as he began to rub your crotch. Your eyes widened as your body responded to his attentions- you stifled a moan as you squirmed. You didn't want to like the touch, but your body couldn't tell the difference between consent and rape. He gradually began to unzip your fly and then- 

You squirmed, even more, tears running down your cheeks as you broke free, finally, and ran as fast as you could to the bathroom, locking yourself in a stall as you caught your breath.

You felt sick. Your core churned as you retched, quickly opening up the toilet lid to empty the contents of your stomach. Your skin was crawling where he had touched you, and silent tears rolled down your cheeks. You flushed the toilet and closed it, sitting knees-to-chest as you shook uncontrollably. 

_"I want to go home,"_ you thought, trembling. _"I need to get out of here. I can't see him or be near him. It's not safe, it's scary, I can't-"_

Your inner monologue was interrupted as the bathroom door swung open. You held your breath as you listened, waiting for them to leave. "Y/N?" 

"Y/N, are you in here dude? Tyler wondered where you went. It's Josh."

You unfolded your legs slowly, leaving the stall.

"Holy shit, dude, are you okay?" You shook your head as an alibi came to mind. "I think I ate something bad. I just threw up."

You caught a glimpse of your reflection. "Wow, I really do look like shit." Your hair was a mess, your tie was askew, and your eyes were red and glassy. Josh's eyes knitted together worriedly as you leaned against the wall, feeling dizzy and weak at the knees as you slid down to the floor. "Dude, you need to go to the nurse." You shook your head as Josh opened the door and whistled. "Jimmy, c'mere." 

A golden retriever jogged in, immediately standing by Josh's side. "Jimmy, say hi to Y/N!" The dog trotted over and licked your face, snapping you out of your reverie. You gave a weak smile as you scratched his head. He reminded you of Toby. "I figured you needed that." You snorted. "Dog slobber. Just what the doctor ordered." Your heart was pounding in your chest as You tried to keep up a light demeanor. Jim leaned against you, and you scratched his ears more as his tongue lolled happily. "Thanks, Jim." Josh offered you a hand, helping you stand. "C'mon. Let's get you to the nurse."

The nurse looked you over and told you to get some rest. Josh went to get Mr. Treeble, and a few minutes later, you were being driven back to your uncle's. "I'm sorry about this." Your uncle looked at you incredulously. "For what- being ill? It's nothing to be sorry for, it happens. Are you cold? You're shaking like a leaf." You nodded. Even with your scarf and thick, wool blazer you felt cold and clammy all over. Your uncle turned up the heat. "Is that any better?" You nodded, still feeling queasy. "Thank you." He smiled, but you could tell he was worried. "Do you want to put some music on or have some quiet?" You fumbled for your phone. "Um, can I put some music on?" He nodded, and you plugged your phone into the sound system. You wanted to drown your thoughts out, and listened to the cheerful tune of "We're So Starving." 

A few minutes later, you pulled up to the house. You unplugged your phone, stumbling out of the door, still feeling ill. "Easy there, tiger." Uncle Darren said. He walked to the door and unlocked it. You walked in, undoing your tie and taking off your blazer. "Go get int something comfortable. Your uncle should be out back- he knows you're here." He smiled softly. "I have to get back to work, but I'll see you tonight. Get some rest and see if you can keep something down, even if it's just a piece of toast." He smiled, and you waved as he locked the door behind him. You went to the living room, grabbing a blanket that was draped over the arm of the sofa. You wrapped it around yourself before stumbling out back to greet your uncle. "Hey, Uncle Kev."

He turned around, smiling sadly. "Hi there. I heard what happened-I'm sorry about that. He opened his arms, and you leaned in as he gave one of his trademark bear hugs. "You've had a crap bout of luck recently." You snorted. "You're telling me." He released you from the hug, frowning. "You're shaking." You nodded. "I don't know why." Your uncle paused for a moment, thinking. "It could be extreme stress or fatigue." A memory popped into your mind. "Oh yeah. One time, after exams, I'd been going two days straight on coffee and power naps at breaktimes. I came home and felt really sick, sleeping for 25 hours and having bad flu symptoms." Your uncle chuckled nervously. "That would explain it." He frowned again. "You have been sleeping, right?"

You shook your head. "Well, not really. I've been trying to but I'm finding it difficult at the moment." Your uncle wrapped you up in your blanket tighter.

"Right. You, in bed, now. You need to rest. I'll wake you up at dinner, and then you can see how you feel about food. On the way, get some water- you lost a lot of fluids." You nodded, and a few minutes later you were bundled up in bed, with your favorite calming playlist. As you lay still, your thoughts began to race. How he'd touched you, pinned you to the wall, and kissed you with his cold tongue... You shook your head, as if trying to clear it of the memories of the day. You turned your music up louder as the sound blared in your ears, drowning out everything and helping to empty your mind. The first thing you thought of was Tyler. His smell, his voice, his smile... It made you smile, just a little. Your mind, however... wandered. You couldn't help but think about what would happen if _Tyler _touched you that way. Not the way that Dan had, rough and selfish and violent, but careful, and sweet. Would he kiss you softly? Would he kiss your neck like he knew you liked? Would he murmur in your ear softly? What if you touched him? How would he react?

You found yourself very hot and bothered.

Eventually, you fell asleep, images of him coursing through your head, music blocking everything out. You did not dream- you felt deeply exhausted emotionally and physically.

It only felt like a few minutes, but soon Uncle Kev was waking you up for dinner. You removed your earbuds as you stretched, opting to take a shower beforehand. 

The hot water turned your skin pink as you ruffled your hair under the shower, picturing the places that Dan had touched being purged of his touch by the hot water. You groaned, scrubbing your face tiredly. You noticed that your cock had become hard after what you'd been thinking about earlier. You began to stroke it, picturing Tyler kissing and biting your neck whilst stroking your cock. Your movements became faster, as you pictured Tyler's pretty, pink lips around it instead of a hand. Your body tensed, and you grunted as you reached your climax. You exhaled, flustered as you scrubbed your skin vigorously to rid yourself of the remainder of Dan's touch. 

A few minutes later, you stepped out of the shower, drying yourself off and quickly blowdrying your hair. You put on a pair of shorts, cooling off from your shower. You turned on your phone, realizing that Tyler had tried to facetime you three times. You smiled, swiping to see if he was still waiting for a response.

He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, baby." You said, smiling. Tyler was looking at you worriedly. "Are you okay? Josh told me you'd thrown up- is it a bug or something?" You set your phone down, showing your bare torso. Tyler went red. "Y-you're not wearing a shirt." You laughed. "Yeah, you called me while I was in the shower. I figured I'd call you before you had a heart attack." Tyler exhaled. "Baby, you're giving me one now." You chuckled. "Should I put a shirt on?" Tyler shook his head, protesting. "No way. I quite like the view." This time, it was your turn to blush- you'd always been a little chubby, but you'd slimmed down a lot over the past year. "Don't worry about me, baby. I'm okay." 

Tyler's tone changed from playful to serious. "Are you lying to me?" There was a pause. "Josh told me that Jim leaned on you when you were sick. Jim only does that if he senses someone's having a panic attack or is anxious. If you were just sick, he wouldn't have done that." You remained quiet. "You went to talk to Dan after Chemistry." Realization was etched upon his face. "What did he do to you?"

You couldn't bear it anymore.

"Look, Tyler. I'm not trying to hide it and I don't wanna lie to you. I'll tell you everything tomorrow, after school. In our room, where nobody can listen in." Tyler nodded, features wound tight with worry. "I won't say anything unless you want me to. I'll listen." You smiled. "Thank you, babe... I love you." 

Tyler smiled back. "I love you too." 

And with that, the conversation ended, and you slid on a hoodie and went to join your uncles for dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! thanks for sticking around! I'll be adding to my tags by request/as the story progresses. Let me know if there's any problems, and I'll try to edit/work around them (especially if it's a trigger for you.) Please leave a kudos or a comment, and if you'd like to come and yell at me, find me on Tumblr and insta (@trapdoorjoseph)! Until next time, Silver out!


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